I was at Arnaud's on Friday night (yes, I ditched my essay...ugh). He pulled up some 'learn Mandarin' videos on his iPad, one of which was some Chinese woman teaching us how to say 'so what?' in Mandarin. When I saw the words "那又怎么样", I immediately said, with no filter whatsoever, "No need so long lah."
I did not realise what I said until I said it. I realised what I said a second later; and when I realised what I said, I did not have time to fully wonder if Arnaud had caught it. Half a second after I realised what I said, Arnaud turned and looked at me and, laughing as he said, "You spoke Singlish!"
That was probably the fourth time in London that I let slip some Singlish, but the first time that I said a complete sentence ("sentence") in Singlish. On other occasions, I found myself saying 'lah' without meaning to. On those occasions, too, the person with whom I was conversing did not realise what I said (or if he/she did, he/she did not say anything about it). I half-thought that maybe Arnaud wouldn't catch it too - but he did. And it made sense: he kept trying to get me to say things in Singlish but it was rather difficult because I can't just sprout off in Singlish by myself; and so the times when I have said things in Singlish, I had to make a concerted effort and it just came off rather unnatural.
That moment, though, was pure, authentic, unthinking Singlish. It was pretty incredible. It makes me think that this bloody pidgin is more ingrained in me than I had thought.
On another note, he also pulled up some 'learn French' videos and tried to make me say some French words. I know I said in another entry that I will exploit my current dating situation and try and learn the language that I've wanted to learn for 10 years and that I will get over my barrier thing...but it was so hard. I couldn't stop laughing for maybe 5 minutes. It was just so embarrassing and I tried to cover that up by laughing quite hysterically like an idiot. Eventually, though, I caved, and I went through with it, and it wasn't horrible but it was still weird. Needless to say, I can't remember how to pronounce any of the words that he made me say.
I did, however, make him say the words first, and...yes, him speaking in French is still incredibly sexy.
He asked me how to say 'let's have more sex' in Chinese. I had no fucking clue. I think talking about sex in Chinese is weird to the core. It's a bit like swearing in Chinese - feels wrong, somehow. Just can't do it.
I have to sleep. I am massively behind my own deadline for the virtual child pornography essay. The theoretical part is way harder to explain than I had thought. Bleah.