anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,
anotherlongshot
anotherlongshot

Received a long email from NEB.

It set off small ripples of the emotional sort within me.

Despite that, I still did not fail to automatically correct his English in my head.

That's reassuring, is it not? That, when all else fails - when one's presently perceived toughness appears to only be externally true - I will always have my inner editor to keep me anchored.

(I am genuinely unsure as to whether I meant this entry ironically at all.)

*

I was this close to mentioning this to Dominic - I had typed out the words on Messenger - but some self-preserving instinct led me to delete those words. I don't want to be vulnerable, not just yet. Perhaps I am simply tired of placing faith and trust in an institution that has had a personal hundred percent failure rate. I like him, but I don't know where it's going, and I'm wary of getting too close, saying too much, for what would probably eventually be very little; in fact, nothing at all.

I am feeling a bit moody right now. I'm in the law faculty, waiting for a 7pm event. Perhaps I will reflect properly on this - whatever 'this' refers to - later tonight.

*

(As I vaguely mention this email to Rui and compose tonight's entry in my mind, a part of me still feels like I should protect his privacy. Old habits die hard, don't they? It's been almost a decade and a part of me is still suffering from Stockholm's syndrome. Fucking hell.)
Tags: dominic, neb, personal
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