anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,
anotherlongshot
anotherlongshot

the face in the mirror

Right now I'm very pissed with FF.net for not allowing me to upload the next exciting (uh, right) instalment of my Ru fic. I click on 'document manager', name my file crap like 'grfg' and 'gf', click on my file, press the 'upload' button, go to 'document manager' again to check if the thing is there, and it's not. I've went through the process about ten times now and every time, even though the stupid site tells me my file is uploaded, it's never there. </p>

Gad, I could just puke.

Feeling damn disoriented now. I find that I get this way whenever I drink two cups of coffee. But it's not my fault. Coffee is really good. I make it myself, obviously, and put it in the freezer to ice it, and only take it out when the top layer is frozen. Of course, most of the time I'm too lazy to wait for the top layer to freeze as it means I have to make multiple trips to the kitchen, but nevermind.

FF.net is still not working. Bloody god-forbidden piece of.

Anyway. Gilmore Girls is back on TV. Yes I know, how insignificant. But it's not really about being able to watch the series again. I used to really melt whenever Jess appears. He's really, really amazingly hot and he's a cool dude.

The thing is, he got some hot chick girlfriend who wears tight-fitting clothes and looks like a total bimbo. The first episode of the new season had him making out with her under a tree. The second episode, which I saw yesterday, had his hot-chick-bimbo girlfriend strolling into his uncle's cafe, leaning against the counter to where he is, and them making out AGAIN in front of everybody.

And watching their kissing scenes reminded me of.

Of.

The past.

Hmm. Funny. I thought I could say it. I said it in my mind yesterday. And I was surprised but I wasn't really thinking.

Jess looks like him. He kisses like him. The whole mouth-in-mouth thing. And all the memories. I just...

I don't know.

It's not really about missing him. I don't miss him at all. I'm glad I'm done with that.

It's about all the things I've done. How I thought I knew what I was doing. How I was so sure, but I really didn't think at all.

And how I hate myself for it now.

Tags: coffee, first boyfriend, gilmore girls
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