Therefore, to make myself feel better, I shall bitch about Andy Murray.
First, I'd like to bitch about his new Fred Perry outfit for Wimbledon. It's some cardigan ensemble which I'm too lazy to link to. All I can say is...Roger Federer's Nike outfit, Wimbledon 2008.
I'M SORRY. UNLESS YOUR NAME IS ROGER FEDERER, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR A CARDIGAN TO CENTRE COURT. YOU SIMPLY AREN'T. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE FUCKING ANDY MURRAY.
Second, this article pissed me off in so many ways, I cannot begin to describe how much it annoyed me:
ANDY HITS OUT: SHOW ME SOME RESPECT, ROGER ..I'VE EARNED IT
By Neil Mcleman 16/06/2009
COUNTDOWN TO WIMBLEDON BRITISH NO.1 ALREADY TALKING A TOUGH GAME
Andy Murray yesterday showed there is little love lost between him and Roger Federer by accusing the Swiss superstar of a lack of respect.
And the British No.1 is now ready to repay the five-time winner by beating him at Wimbledon.
The pair are the favourites to triumph at SW19 this year, with Rafa Nadal still an injury doubt.
But while the normally polite Federer has always been complimentary about the Spaniard, who has replaced him as world No.1, he cannot bring himself to say a nice word about the world No.3. After losing to Murray in Dubai last year, Federer cattily accused the Scot of defensive tactics and relying on the mistakes of his opponents to win matches.
The Swiss won their next match in their only Grand Slam meeting to date in the final of the US Open last September.
But since then, Murray has responded by beating the holder of 14 Grand Slams in four consecutive matches by driving him to distraction with his variation of speed and direction and targeting the Federer backhand.
Murray has definitely got inside his head.
The 22-year-old now enjoys a 6-2 winning record over the player who recently completed the career Grand Slam at the French Open and is regarded by many as the greatest ever.
Yet even at Roland Garros, Federer could not bring himself to admit Murray was a candidate for the title. (Um, that's because Murray fucking sucks on clay. DUH. Fucking idiot "writer" who wrote this shit obviously doesn't know shit about tennis. - Me)
The Scot responded yesterday by insisting Pete Sampras was the best grasscourt player of all time. And then he insisted he will continue to try to infuriate the Swiss if they clash at his home Grand Slam.
"A lot of the times I have beaten him he has said negative things about my game. It doesn't bother me that much," said Murray.
"It didn't make me feel I needed to change my game. I think a lot of times he has been very frustrated playing against me, which has showed that the game style I play against him works."
Asked whether he was surprised by Federer's comments, Murray replied: "He doesn't lose very often so he doesn't need to be critical of his opponents. It is sometimes tougher to be nice when you lose matches.
"I have never done it, I don't think.
If someone beats you, it is a sport. I don't think you can criticise the way they have played if they have won against you because they have done all they needed to.
"It is quite easy sometimes to look at what you did wrong but I think a lot of times when you lose it quite often comes down to a great performance from the opponent."
After playing all eight of their matches on hardcourts, Murray said he will now have no fears of facing Federer on grass. "I will definitely take confidence playing against him from our matches in the past if I face him at Wimbledon," said the Scot, full of confidence after his glory at Queen's on Sunday.
"After playing the last three finals, I would think the odds for Nadal and Federer to reach the final again would be very high. But I feel much more capable of winning a Grand Slam now than I did at Wimbledon last year. I just feel like mentally I can do it. I feel like I am ready."
Murray was talking at the launch of his new retro Fred Perry kit to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the birth of Britain's last Wimbledon winner.
"That was a little bit uncomfortable. It is not a career I am going to pursue," he said after his unconvincing catwalk display.
FEDERER'S RECORD AGAINST MURRAY..
IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WEEP
I say this authoritatively because I have read almost everything there is to read out there about Roger and his comments on his fellow players. He's outspoken and he doesn't minces his words, because he doesn't have to. He's Roger Federer. He was a shoo-in for GOAT before he won the French Open, and now that he has...well, he IS the fucking GOAT. His word is pretty much the word of the Tennis God because he is THAT respected, THAT revered, and no one - NO ONE - currently on tour has achieved even half of what he's achieved, not even Nadal.
So when Roger talks about you, Andy, shut up and listen. And you did, didn't you? He criticised your game after the Cincinnati Masters, and according to your mother, you took his comments to heart and you improved your game. Perhaps you should thank him for all those times you beat him after you lost to him in the US Open final last year.
More importantly, I don't know where the hell you're getting your sources from, but all these nonsense about Roger criticising your game every time he loses to you...have you read this article? Let me quote you what he said:
"Andy Murray's best surface might be grass - I think he's playing excellent," Federer said.
ANDY MURRAY, SHUT THE FUCK UP. NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN YOU AND YOUR BORING TENNIS, LET ALONE YOUR UNIMPORTANT, SLAM-LESS OPINION. NO ONE OUTSIDE OF BRITAIN GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU, AND WHEN YOU START LOSING YOU'D ONCE AGAIN BE SCOTTISH, NOT BRITISH. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF AND STOP TRASH-TALKING ROGER FEDERER. WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY SHIT ABOUT HIM WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN WON A SINGLE GRAND SLAM? I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY TO ACHIEVE EVEN A FIFTH OF WHAT ROGER HAS ACHIEVED. HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT THE REASON ROGER CRITICISES YOUR GAME IS BECAUSE...IT SUCKS?
Stupid idiot Murray. I hate him. I hope he loses in the first round of Wimbledon. I hope Nadal gets fit so that he can take out Murray's sorry ass before the final.
I HATE ANDY MURRAY. No one trash talks my darling Roger and gets away with it - especially not this brutish, foul-mouthed, un-gentlemanly Scot.
And the British media - oh my god, can they be any more retarded? The mere idea that Roger and Nadal are "running scared" because of Murray is enough to make me laugh my bad day away. Unfortunately, simultaneously, it also pisses me off.
ANDY MURRAY IS SO OVERHYPED. SO DAMN OVERHYPED. I just saw an article dated 1 June, when the French Open was still on-going, that said Murray was inching closer to the title. LOL at that, albeit retrospectively, because he lost to Gonzalez in the QF - like I predicted he would. He's an overhyped, overrated piece of shit who's not going to win a Slam until Roger retires. Even after Roger retires, he might still have to face Nadal (then again, with the condition his knees are in...that's a bit doubtful). And then there's Djokovic. And Del Potro. And so many other players better than him. He's not going to win with his defensive game, because a good attacking game will always beat a solid defensive game.
Ugh, fuck Andy Murray. I hate him so much. The last negative thing Roger said about his sorry ass was at the Australian Open, when he said that Murray wasn't a big favourite to win because he hadn't performed well in best-of-five, and because he hadn't yet won a Slam (still Slam-less. And still has not reached SF of last two Slams. And he's supposedly #3). Well, Roger turned out to be right.
I reiterate: Andy Murray, when Roger Federer speaks, do yourself a favour and just shut up and listen.
Or wait, don't. Continue doing whatever you're doing and wait for Roger to kick your ass. You think he's going to keep losing to you? Think again. THINK AGAIN. He's going to turn it around. He's nothing to lose now, after winning the French. And nobody cares how many times you've beaten him if you didn't do it in a Grand Slam final.
Okay I'm going to stop talking about this because it's seriously irritating.
I love Roger. Looking at his gorgeous pictures made me feel better.
Oh, and: So what if Murray won at Queens? Who the hell played at Queens? James Blake. Juan Carlos Fererro. Andy Roddick (who retired against Blake due to some sprained wrist or whatever; forgot what it was). Ivo Karlovic. Andreas Seppi.
Wow, what a great accomplishment, winning at Queens. HATS OFF! Nadal and Roger couldn't have accomplished the same feat - winning a 250 series tournament!
Fuck you, Murray. Fuck you.