The latest I've left work so far is 7 p.m. I have not been through the hellish long hours that most - if not all - of my friends have been through, or are still going through; while I am kept busy at work, it is not to an extent that I feel compelled to stay overtime. As long as I get my work done, and as long as it's not completely disastrous (I can't aim too high right now; brain is still stuck in law school), I'm not going to stay just for the sake of staying.
And yet, despite leaving at 6-something every day, I still feel incredibly tired. I'm not a morning person, and we all know how ambivalent I felt towards entering the profession. I won't talk about the latter, but with regard to the former, I honestly cannot - CANNOT - begin to put into words how I struggle to stay awake every morning. Strangely I come alive (well, alive relative to 99% asleep in the morning anyway) after lunch when most people start to feel sleepy after lunch. But I'm really not a morning person. And so far, the hardest adjustment I've had to make - apart from the obvious fact that I'm no longer in school - is waking up at 7 in the morning and struggling to keep myself awake from 9 to 1. If I had things my way, I'd go in at 2 and leave at 10. Have I said this before? I think I have.
Sometimes I feel compelled to stay even though I'm not rushing any work. And if there's one thing I am not very fond of about this line of work, it's this unspoken, underlying pressure on those lowest on the food chain to stay late in the office, just to impress and show that you are serious about your work - even though you're just as capable of being serious about your work and being diligent if you leave on time, or "early" as in 7, 8 p.m. I'm just thankful that The Firm - my department, at least - doesn't make me feel like I ought to stay late just for the sake of it. Of course, every day I mentally prepare myself for the possibility of staying late, in case there's some urgent work to be done, but thankfully so far that hasn't happened. I thought I might have to stay late today because we talked to the client's overseas lawyer, but my boss left before I did, and I did enough of the work I was assigned to leave the office at 6.05 guilt-free.
I like The Firm so far. Actually, I kind of really do. I love the daily breakfast, the friendly environment, and the way the partners are friendly and unguarded. Your boss' friendliness really goes a long way in making you feel welcomed in the firm, and simultaneously it makes the transition that much easier. Yesterday there was this tea session at a new cafe nearby for all the pupils in my department, and although I definitely could've mingled more (I don't like socialising. I'm quiet and all wallpaper-ish), it was nice to see everyone relaxed and...normal. And human.
The food at that cafe was SUPER nice though. Oh my god, I so have to go back and eat the chocolate banana cake. It was AMAZING. And the croissant was totally to die for.
And speaking of food, for some damn weird reason I find that I'm hungry all the time. I'm hanging out with a DipSing girl on my floor and yesterday she commented that we can be good friends because I eat a lot too, like her. I wanted to say, "But I actually don't" because everyone knows my appetite is pathetic. But truth is, lately, I've been eating quite a bit. And I get hungry at six. I don't even know why. It's really tragic.
Okay, I'm going to watch tennis now. IT'S THE FUCKING GRASS SEASON! Roger pulled out of Halle though; he was too overwhelmed (I'm serious) about his French Open win to play haha. What the hell. So sad he won't get his third title of the season before Wimbledon. Oh well.
I. CANNOT. WAIT. FOR. WIMBLEDON. YESSSSSSSSSSS.
I LOVE GRASS COURT TENNIS. IT'S FINALLY GRASS. BUT WHY IS IT SO SHORT? IT'S SO UNFAIR.