anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

Like, oh my god, EW.

The thing about writing is that I feel this vague panic attack whenever I think about it. It's that fear of failing at the one thing that you're good at, and more importantly, the only thing that's consistently meant something, anything, to you. The stakes are even higher when it's something that you've always defined yourself by, justified your existence with, invested all your hopes in. And so, despite having a few ideas swimming around in my head, I can't put fingers to keypad and give shape to those ideas, because the very thought of doing so scares me to death.

Writing scares me more than going into the legal profession. It stresses me out and right now I can't deal with it, so I deal with it by not writing. But that frustrates me, because the things I have written disgust me with their incompetency, gross lack of style, glaring absence of any sort of substance whatsoever. I want to remedy that, but I can't bring myself to do so because I'm afraid to.

Isn't that the dumbest, stupidest thing you've ever heard in your life? Because I personally can't think of anything dumber.

On a slightly different note, why do people write science fiction and fantasy? Why do people read science fiction and fantasy? These genres aren't even worthy genres, I'm sorry. I'm just...completely baffled, and yeah, I don't get it. It just seems so stupid to me to read about some Kingdom named...whatever; I can't even make up a cliche fantasy name.

Then again, I don't read popular fiction/chick lit/etc either, so I think it's just me and my literary snobbishness, which I tend to think lately is entirely unjustified. Argh.

On a brighter note, I finished Julian Barnes' Cross Channel. My favourite story? "Evermore". Utterly heartbreaking, so sensitively written, I loved it. I also really liked "Dragons", "Tunnel", "Experiment", and "Brambilla" (it took me until I finished the story to realise that it was written from the perspectives of both the girl and the guy. Duh, right? I know). I didn't get "Hermitage" and didn't really care, except I was trying to figure out if the women protagonists were lesbians or not (I suspect they are, but I'm not sure). But the absolute best story is definitely "Evermore".

I love Julian Barnes.

I haven't been doing anything note-worthy of late. I'm still completely in love with The Dark Knight and I can't wait to watch it again, and perhaps again. It's just so good that I can't describe it. And I want to buy Batman Begins on DVD, and I WILL.

Actually, I really just wanted to write about my love/hate relationship with writing. Yup. I have nothing else to say. I have nothing to say, so I don't update much anymore.

Oh, I just remembered that my phone exists.

I'm currently completely hooked on Stereophonics' Word Gets Around album. Amazing shit. I'm also amazed by how much their sound has changed. I loooove Stereophonics muchly.

Shockingly, I actually put Conflict of Laws as my first-choice module which I'm half-hoping I won't get 'cause it won't be pleasant to get another bloody C. Suffice it to say that I wasn't going to take it until I was convinced otherwise by someone whom I assume would know about this kind of things, so hopefully it all works out for the best.

If I'm being honest, I'd love to get a 2-1 and I'd probably try to get it, but I'm so damn lazy. I feel like slacking Year 4 away. But then, Year 3 Semester 2 was my most slack semester, like, EVER, and I just don't think I can justify another super-slack semester. Yeah, if I get all my modules, I'm going to have another three-day week after August (two intensives once again. I like it better this way actually, 'cause I'm weird), but I'm taking 24 credits. Have I talked about that already? In any case, I'm doing 24 credits. I'm going to die. 24 credits and Conflict of Laws. I AM GOING TO DIE.

I really, really wanted to do Comparative Constitutional Law because it's one of those fluffy shit stuff that I'd totally breeze through (that's the assumption at least), but it conflicts with Conflicts. How utterly INCONVENIENT and DIABOLICAL, omg.

Also, I've finally, finally decided to change my hairstyle. I was a bit uncertain again when I was watching The Devil Wears Prada, but I don't know how to get my bangs to look like Anne Hathaway's, so I won't bother anymore. I need a new look; I'm so sick of looking 16.

Oh I just remembered something that I absolutely HAVE to write about! On Saturday I met up with the SNGS gang to celebrate Celine's birthday. We ate at RedDot Brewery or whatever, at Dempsey. The place was expensive-looking and had a nice ambience, which meant the food was super expensive; I ordered some fish fillet sandwich that cost $13, and that was the cheapest thing on the menu. Yun and Shuting shared some meat pie thingy and we were all happily eating, until Yun realised...there was a worm on the plate.

It was pretty tiny, white, and was stained with what looked like sauce from the meat. It was also quite clearly dead. We kind of freaked, and Pearlyn was super pissed. She called a waitress over and explained the situation to her. The said waitress went away with the plate and came back a while later and gave us some nonsense about how the worm was not in the meat but in the flour for the pasty/pie/whatever, and she knew this because the worm looked crispy?


In the end we got a manager to come over, this sweet-looking lady, and she was very apologetic, etc. She gave us a 30% discount, gave Celine a free bottle of wine, and of course didn't charge us for the pie. But what was really annoying was that there was no sense in giving the waitress shit, 'cause she was just doing her job and she had no control over what was put on the plates and served to customers. Pearlyn knew that too, and didn't give the waitress shit. She also didn't give the manager shit, but explained to her that it just wasn't acceptable for anyone to pay so much money for dinner, just to find a damn worm in the food. And in fact, like Pearlyn said, it was really the chef who should've came out to apologise - but he didn't. And that really sucked.

So that was quite unpleasant, definitely disgusting. I really did like the place, but boy, I'm never going back there. Apparently it was the first time that happened, but you know what? I'm not taking my chances.

You know, they should be glad the worm wasn't found in my sandwich; otherwise, I would make sure the bloody chef got fired. (Which reminds me - I need to get this stupid Metro worker in Athens fired because she pissed me off two hours after Mag and I arrived in Athens.) Okay, maybe I exaggerate, but I still would've kicked up a stink. Pearlyn handled the whole thing and she was actually quite nice about it already.

Then again, thin line between being unreasonable and getting just compensation, right? I was thinking they shouldn't charge us for the whole dinner, but, yeah, that's a bit unreasonable. HAHA.

Still, it was quite disgusting, and for a few fleeting seconds, I found myself if I'd unwittingly eaten a worm, too. Unlike Yun, I don't look at my food before I shove it into my mouth, so I really wouldn't know if there was a bug in my food. Kinda scary, if you think about it.

And speaking of bug-eating, I watched this programme on Discovery Travel & Living that featured Ecuador. This fat American dude - the host - went to the said country to explore and shit. The part I caught was of him exploring the Amazon forest and um, eating its natural resources. He ate some lemon ants - cue close-up of a considerable number of small ants crawling around the tip of his tongue. Then there was the grubs - big, fat worms that they caught and pan-fried.

I felt DAMN SORRY for the worms (not really the ants, though, sadly). They were just in those dead trees, minding their own business, when the locals suddenly dug them up and threw them into a pan of sizzling oil. POOR WORMS OMG.

And although I thought they were quite cute, if I ever see one of them crawling around, I'd absolutely freak out and die. Yes, I would.

Off to bed!
Tags: bad experience, books, food, friends, grades, gross, julian barnes, law school, music, personal, stereophonics, the dark knight, writing

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