That's completely changed. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and I'm legitimately crying.
It wasn't the fact that he lost. It was the manner of his loss. He was up two sets to love. He played sublime tennis. Then the new Federer appeared in the next two sets and it was utter shit. Then vintage Fed appeared again in the fifth set. He broke at 4-3, served for the match at 5-3, had match points at 40-15. Then he lost his serve on a double fault.
I thought he had it at 40-15. Hell, I thought he had the match when he won the first two sets. How did he lose this? I can't - I just can't believe it. I was so exhausted after the first two sets but now I can't fucking sleep.
Why do I care so much? It fucking hurts like hell, watching this...catastrophe, atrocity. It's so fucking painful.
16 slams. On the other hand, 2 match points, 2 sets to love lead, a completely winnable match, a potential 17th slam, and he just let it slip away. How did he do this. How COULD he.
I wanted to watch the Serena Williams/Caroline Wozniacki SF, but honestly, I'm so damn sick of tennis right now. I don't even care.
How did he lose this? How could he have lost this? This is going to hurt for a very long time. I don't even know how he's going to get over it. Actually, he'll probably bounce back the way he always does; but I will keep replaying 40-15, 40-15, 40-15, 40-15; deuce, advantage Federer, deuce, advantage Djokovic, fault, fault.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.
My only consolation - and it's a very, very slim one - is that Rafael Nadal is not going to win the US Open. But I'm not a fan of Djokovic at the moment, so I really, really, really hope Andy Murray finally steps up to the plate and wins this fucking tournament that's officially dead to me.
This was my favourite tournament. I really. Most of his fans regard the 2008 Wimbledon final as his most heartbreaking loss; some of them are saying that this loss trumps that.
For me, I couldn't get over his loss to Nadal in the 2009 Australian Open final (since I was not a fan when he lost Wimbledon in 2008). Throughout all the losses that he's had to swallow since then, I really thought nothing would ever come close to how much that AO loss hurt me.
This loss has completely changed that. He lost when he was in a winning position, the match literally on his racquet.
Fuck this. Fuck tennis. Fuck you, Roger. Fuck you for being so good. Fuck you for making me care. Because nothing sucks more than being upset over something over which you have zero control. Really, watch me mope for the next week. I think I might cancel all my tennis sessions. I feel like I can't be bothered with the yellow fuzzy ball and the racquet right now. Tennis is meaningless when Roger loses like this.
What sucks even more, though, is that he's actually devastated. Okay, of course he will be but he doesn't always show it.
And it's raining outside now. How appropriate.
I need to get some sleep. I haven't slept a wink. I wish I didn't have to wake up to the aftermath of this loss. I'd like it to be, oh, a month from now, maybe.
This sucks. At least I've stopped crying. I can't believe he really made me cry (I didn't really cry over the Tsonga match; hard to cry when I didn't watch it).
Fuck fuck fuck fuck. FUCK.
Throughout the match I kept telling myself that he's won 16 slams so that I won't be too disappointed if he lost. After he was up two sets I started hoping that Murray would win against Nadal so that Roger wouldn't have to face Nadal in the final.
He still lost. And he's still won 16 slams, but that fact, at the time of me writing this, is cold comfort to me.
I will always support him. He will always be the best player ever to me. I will watch his matches till the end, whatever that may be, and I will support him until he hangs up his racquet, at which time I will cry a lot worse than I did today.
But right now, I'm so disappointed and heartbroken. I don't know how long I'm gonna take to get over this. No slam titles since 2002. This sucks. This sucks so bad. I will always support him, but this fucking sucks so bad right now. This sucks. I can't even. This sucks.