Just looking at the stats and monitoring the live score of the match Roger's playing now for Davis Cup is giving me a damn heart attack. I got tired of watching Roddick v Ferrer (David Ferrer, by the way, is FINE) and came online to see how Roger's doing...and the first thing I saw? ROGER GOT BROKEN.
OMG SHIT. Now Roger's up 30-15 on Belgium's serve. Oh shit, it's now 30-30.
OMG ROGER. :( Deuce! BREAK ROGER BREAK. BREAK I COMMAND YOU. Wawrinka took five sets to win the first round and I almost died monitoring this crazy, super long game that had about ten million deuces and Stan eventually failed to convert.
SHIT GAME POINT FOR BELGIUM.
I NEED TO STOP LOOKING AT THIS.
SHIT BELGIUM HOLDS.
I want to die. :( He's down 0-3 in the second set and won the first in a tie-break. OMG NOOOOO. This is so reminiscent of the early rounds of the US Open, especially the five-setter against Igor Andreev (which I still refuse to download). THOSE UNFORCED ERRORS. Six in set 2 against Belgium's 1. OMG OMG OMG.
It's even worse that I can't even watch so I don't know what's going on. There's only so much numbers and figures tell you, you know. Why does he play so badly (I assume he's playing badly 'cause you can't explain the UEs otherwise) against these unknown players? Where's the Federer that beat Andy Murray in such a thorough and spectacular fashion? Okay I think I just contradicted myself in this paragraph but arghhh I CAN'T THINK WHEN ROGER'S LOSING THE SECOND SET. SHIT.
Anyway, Roddick and Ferrer are taking it to the fifth set and I got damn sian of watching them. It was most bizarre, I must say. In the third set, Ferrer actually double-faulted to give Roddick the freaking set point. And when Roddick opened in the fourth set, he freaking double-faulted to give Ferrer the break. What the fuck, right?
Okay Roger got on the scoreboard. Yeah like he'd ever get bagelled.
On the bright side, apparently Roger has only lost a grand total of four matches in which he's won the first set, so chances are, he's gonna win this one. BUT I'M STILL SCARED. HE NEEDS TO BREAK THE OTHER GUY. I was virtually screaming at Roddick to break Ferrer at the end of the fourth set, but nooooo.
Shit, 4-1. NOOOO. He can't lose the first match he's playing immediately after winning the US Open. He just can't. I swear I'll immediately cancel my Roger Federer Google alert if he loses this and the press has a field day with stupid articles about Roger slipping up again and how the US Open win was a fluke, blah blah blah. Why is it so stressful to be a Roger Federer fan? I hate this.
Okay so he holds. Now he has to break. There's a live stream but I'm leeching off my neighbour's internet and I bet it won't work so I won't even bother trying. Besides, I'm not staying up all night stressing over this. There's no point. I'M NOT EVEN SWISS.
OMG 30-0. There's a chance for him to break!! OMG NET WINNER FEDERER!!! He's so going to win the doubles tomorrow. OMG WTF ROS UNFORCED ERROR FEDERER 30-15. WTF WTF WTF. OMG 40-15! HAHAHAHA THE OTHER GUY DOUBLE-FAULTED. HAHA. TWO BREAK POINTS. ROGER YOU BETTER CONVERT. SHIT HE LOST ONE. FIRST SERVE FAULT. FAULT AGAIN! SHIT BELGIUM GETS A FOREHAND WINNER. DEUCE. SHIT ADVANTAGE BELGIUM. OMG I'M GOING TO CRY. OMG FEDERER FOREHAND WINNER, DEUCE AGAIN. COME ON ROGER. I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP UNTIL YOU BREAK HIM AND I REALLY WANNA SLEEP SO DO IT DAMMIT. YES ADVANTAGE FEDERER! BREAK POINT! BREAK HIM DAMMIT JUST DO ITTTTT OMG I WANNA SLEEP!
YESSSSS HE BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3-4 Federer and he's serving! HAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet he can win another tie-break. But he should just hold serve and break again and win the second set.
I can't believe it's possible to get so excited and worked up over some live score online. There are no moving pictures, just numbers and figures. Dammit, I hope someone uploads these matches when they're over; I really wanna watch them. Besides, Roger looks damn good in red so that's an added bonus for me.
Okay I just caught the last few games of Roddick/Ferrer. I'm so disgusted; I can't believe Roddick lost. The USA is so going to lose the semi-final which SUCKS. Like Roddick has a chance against Nadal on clay if he can't even win Ferrer. And like Querry can win Ferrer. Please.
And speaking of Ferrer - I totally want to watch him play against Federer. Two hot guys slamming it out on the court? Yes, please.
And speaking of Roger - YESSSS HE TOOK THE SECOND SET WITHOUT A TIE-BREAK!!!! And he broke Belgium's third set opening service game!
Shit I wanna watch this match so badly. SO BADLY. I wonder if they need to play the last two rounds if Roger and Stan win the doubles on Saturday. You know, I can't even remember how to spell the Belgian player's name. Yeah he can hold at love; doesn't matter since Roger's up 2-0. HAHAHA.
Okay I think I can go sleep in peace now. I'm seriously going to start playing tennis, beginning with buying a racquet in the morning. For one, I have amazing hand-eye coordination; for another, swimming gets boring after a while. And if I find myself struggling, I'm going to blame it on Roger for making it look so easy!
I'm sooo happy that Roger fought back from being down 1-4 to win the second set 6-4. This is why he's the owner of 13 grand slam titles, and why I love him soooo much.
ETA at 1.33 a.m.:
YESSSSS ROGER BROKE AGAIN FOR A 4-1 LEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ETA at 1.37 a.m.:
Okay as expected, live stream ain't working. BLEAH. Hopefully it'll work for the doubles match.
ETA at 1.39 a.m.:
5-2 Federer! Federer serves for the match! Please no US Open serve-for-championship break by Murray again please. Apparently Roger headbutted a ball. I WANNA SEE IT DAMMIT DAMMIT. WHO CARES ABOUT SPAIN V USA. I WANNA WATCH ROGER FEDERER.
ETA at 1.42 a.m.:
MATCH POINT FEDERER.
ETA at 1.43 a.m.:
Forehand Winner (R FEDERER) - Great Forehand [**]
YES HE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ETA at 1.50 a.m.:
I'm so sorry for doubting you Roger! I swear I'm never questioning the genius of TMF ever again. EVER! Yay Switzerland's up 2-0. HAHA! I wanna be Swiss right about now!
ETA at 1.55 a.m.:
I still can't believe he won the second set 6-4 after being down 1-4. Omg I really wish I'd seen that. Sigh. ROGER FEDERER IS A FREAKING GENIUS. And I really, really need to sleep. And Roger cut his hair. Isn't that wonderful?
ETA at 2.06 a.m.: