April 2nd, 2002

Charah coffee

colourgenics results

I got the link from Torpidity.

You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.

You are finding the present situation extremely demanding and you're having difficulty coping with it. A great deal of strain is involved and you would really like everyone and everything to leave you alone for a while, just so that you can put everything into perspective.

Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.

All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.

Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.

I found it to be quite accurate, especially the last paragraph.

Charah coffee

get with the programme

I had P.E today, and it was utter, complete hell. If I thought the previous sessions were hellish...well, I ain't seen nothin' yet. Today's one was bad to the core. It was the ultimate. The epitome of hell. I had to run 4 rounds (800m). And that's not the end of it...I had to run 4 rounds with weights. I was panting and gasping and dying. I walked about one round, but still, it was really bad. And the teacher made the class do all sorts of strenuous exercise, so now I'm all weak and aching and tired. Today's P.E. was so bad that it made sludging through applications of differentiation of trig functions look heavenly. Do you still wonder why I hate P.E. so?

I had a dream involving Joaquin, but it wasn't nice. I was kind of watching a movie with him in it, only it was more like a play than a movie. The actors (which included Jackie Chan, who was the star) acted live, and they did not only act live, they acted live at my school's carpark. My school never stops haunting me, does it? Anyway, my classmate dragged me to see the stupid thing, which was called "Blood Vessel" and was a comedic action flick/play. I didn't want to, but she persuaded me by saying Joaquin's in it. So I watched. Mr. Chan was surrounded by a group of people who were going to kill him, and Joaq was one of them. One guy carried a knife. The average viewer would naturally think he's gonna die, but before anyone could say "Joaquin Phoenix is gorgeous", he took out a gun and spun 360 degrees, thus killing everyone in sight.

I was outraged. I turned to whoever was with me, 'cause the person changed, and hollered, "That's it? Joaquin appears for one second, and you dragged me to watch this crap?" Someone behind me, probably Jackie Chan, said that no, it wasn't over. They aren't really dead.

Sure enough, as I looked on, the supposedly dead people began to get up one by one. They ran all over the place with their weapons in hand, and I was just strolling, when I saw Joaquin right in front of me. I was flabbergasted and panicking. I mean, JOAQUIN PHOENIX was in front of me. Of course I would panic. So I kind of walked towards him, and he saw me, and god, his eyes were so beautiful. They were a kind of greenish blue, and they resemble the colour of the ocean on a bright sunny day. His hair was cropped weird in a crew cut, but it was sexy anyway.

But he wasn't nice. He had a machine gun, and he pointed it at me, and he fired. The weird thing is, I could dodge bullets, kind of a la "The Matrix". And when the bullets softly grazed my skin, I didn't feel anything, which hence leads me to conclude they were blanks.

Isn't it shitty that he wanted to kill me? But in the dream, he was in character, and he played a killer, so it's not that bad.

I'm suffering from a sore throat. I don't want to fall sick this week, as I have a Chemistry test on Thursday and I am proud of announce I have attempted to study for it. This is the first time in 2 years that I'm bothering to study for Chemistry. So my body better not fuck up. Wait til next week, okay?

My fingers hurt.