April 4th, 2002

Charah coffee

I Wanted To Cry

In school as we speak. The keyboard in my class is awful. I'm feeling pretty lousy right now. I woke up with an incredible feeling of not wanting to do anything, not wanting to feel anything, and not wanting to deal with anything. I don't want to do the stupid Chinese test. I haven't finished half the material required. I don't want to be here right now. My life is all about fulfilling obligations, and I hardly have time for myself. I wanted to cry in the school bus 45 minutes ago, but no tears would come. This year has been terrible so far. We're into April, 22 weeks away from my prelimary examinations, and half the time, I still haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing.

At this rate, I think I'm gonna drown.