April 20th, 2002

Charah coffee

friday five: tv shows

Friday Five

1. What's your favorite TV show and why? I was crazy about Boy Meets World, because it's hilarious and Will Friedle cracks me up. I used to tape the re-runs off Disney Channel and watch them over and over.

2. Who is your favorite television star? Um. I don't know. I don't really care.

3. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Power Rangers. Come on, name me a kid who didn't like that show!

4. What show do you think should have been cancelled by now? Survivor and other "reality" shows. Stupid junk.

5. What new show do you hope escapes the axe this season? *shrugs* I live in Singapore.

Charah coffee

saturday 8: fear

Fear
  1. How would you describe fear?

    An irrational feeling towards something that is out of one's control.

  2. Do you tend to fear more imaginary and abstract things, such as

    things under the bed, or do you get more scared thinking of realistic things, such as diseases and people breaking in to your house?

    Um. Imaginary things. I'm more afraid of things I can't see than things I can see. But if you ask me why I'm scared of knives, I can't begin to tell you. I don't know why either.

  3. What are some things you use to combat fear?

    I don't, really. I just let it slide.

  4. Do you enjoy things we do to cause ourselves fear, such as haunted houses, scary movies, and bungee jumping?

    I like scary movies. But they scare me. After watching a really scary film I'd be really paranoid. It's all in the head, you know. All in my head.

  5. Have you ever helped another person work to overcome some fear? If so, how?

    I don't know. Can't really remember. Probably not.

  6. What is a fear that you feel you have overcome (or nearly

    overcome)?

    Of insects. Before I changed my diet to a more animal-friendly one, I was very afraid of insects and snakes and the like. For some reason, now I'm better with them. I don't know why.

  7. Do you tend to fear more tangible things, such as objects and things you can see, or are you more likely to fear something implied, such as things that may be lurking in the dark or situations that may happen?

    Things that are implied, of course.

  8. What is one of your greatest fears?

    Knives. Being ordinary. My imagination, especially after a horror film.

Submitted to Saturday 8.

Charah coffee

brain going into over-drive...

I don't know if Gen and I are moving too fast.

I mean, I've known him for 6 days, not counting today, which would make it 7, and already he's kissed me 3 times and told me he loves me.

This is so weird. But not bad-weird. Good-weird. Very good-weird. I really like being with him and having him staring at me in that penetrating way of his, and not to mention I LOVED IT when he kissed me.

But I don't know if we're moving too fast. My mind is telling me to slow down, but my heart (or body, whatever) says everything is in its place and I should ask my mind to shut up, because it is it that had caused me major trauma before many a times in the first place.

But 6 days?

Okay. This is the part where I tell myself to shut up. I mean, seriously. This is so typically me (Britney-reference not intended). I think way too much. Gen does not think at all. He acts and thinks later. I think and act later.

I should follow his example.

But god. I can still smell him, can still feel his hand in mine, his lips against mine. OH MY GOD. It makes me go crazy.

Today is his half day, as in he doesn't have to work in the morning. I just HAVE to have tuition on Saturdays! Goddammit. I have to see him again. I'm going to the restaurant for lunch with The Goofball and Cheryl on Sunday, and I am so darn excited.

I don't know where the hell we should go for our next date. Which is like, on Tuesday. There is nowhere to go around here. And because I'd be in my bloody uniform AGAIN, there isn't much we can do either, if you get what I mean, besides talk.

Actually, talking is good too.

Okay. I seriously have no idea what the fuck I'm typing. But he's the first thing on my mind when I wake and the last thing I think about before I sleep. I opened my eyes at around 6 a.m. today and the first thing I thought of was his kisses. After that I had a hard time falling asleep again, and I went on to wake up at 8.20 a.m.

Not only am I losing my appetite, I'm losing my sleep as well.

But if it means having someone like Gen as my boyfriend (that sounded strange, but good-strange), I'm not even complaining.

SIGH!

happy girl

number 2

So tired today. I slept at 2.04 p.m. until 2.52 p.m., and I did not just make those numbers up. I would have slept longer but I had tuition at 3. I had originally intended to lie on my bed for 10 minutes but I ended up falling asleep, so sleeping it was, and would you be surprised if I go on to say I fell asleep with Gen on my mind?

I wish he didn't say he loves me though. It's sweet, and it made me smile, but it also makes me confused. Why does he love me? Because he thinks I'm pretty?

Truth be told, I seriously doubt that, but still.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I have been begging for something like this to happen, and when it does, instead of relishing in it, I begin to pick it apart.

I have to talk to him and ask him not to say he loves me until a month later. It's kind of too soon and since I have never done this before I'm scared to death yet extremely happy and I don't know light like I'm floating on air and when I think about him my entire body starts to tingle.

Yeah, well. What else to say...yeah. My life is getting better. All thanks to him. I am ambivalent towards Tuesday, as Tuesday means a few things: 1) Physics test; 2) fitness test (translation: running 2.4 kilometres under 17.50 minutes; I did it for practice and I finished at 20 minutes, which is a fail); 3) seeing Gen.

Definitely looking forward to point number 3. Dreading point number 2. Don't feel anything towards point number 1. Maybe a little apprehension, but that's about it.

Am I the only weirdo who said "thank you" after being/been (brain ain't workin') kissed for the first time?