January 2nd, 2006

happy girl

2005: year in review

I recycled this survey last year two years ago and I'm going to recycle it again...now to sum up last year. And if it isn't already obvious by now, I'm still not used to the whole 2006 thing.


1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

I went to university; I sold out; I applied to two of the most prestigious universities in the world; I gave a speech in front of a pretty large audience and did not totally die; I did that thing where really smart people go onstage and receive certificates and cheques that award their smartness; I became full-fledgedly (just pretend that's a word) obsessed with a TV show; I read a map and got it right; I worked; I taught GP for eight days; I kind of got dumped; and I realised just how emotionally dysfunctional I am and how I still don't know what the hell my meaning to life is (besides the whole 'there is no meaning' dribble I like to repeat over and over).

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I've stopped making resolutions since, like, forever.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my aunt! A baby girl born on September 11. Haha.

4. Did anyone close to you die?






Yeah, Meg Manning. That was kind of sad.

What do you mean I'm not living in Neptune?

(Okay you can breathe now.)

5. What countries did you visit?

More like counTRY. Malaysia. That was fun, /sarcasm. Great country but awful trip. Don't ask. I don't wanna tell anyway.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?

The usual: A HAPPENING! social life, many many flings, a drop dead gorgeous guy to sleep with, torrid love affairs, affairs with married men...

Seriously now. To be honest, I would totally like to live in another continent towards the end of the year, but we'll see how that pans out, even though I already know, deep down, how it will pan out. Most of the time, what I want doesn't matter. I've learnt that now.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

December 30, 2005, College Day. Are you kidding? That was awesome. I could get used to people applauding for me. Oh, yeah.

I'm sure there are more but I don't really remember too well, so.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I'd say the A Levels results and all but I kind of did that in 2004. So, I suppose getting into law school and not completely screwing up the valedictorian thing.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Falling asleep - literally and metaphorically - in law school; not giving a damn in law school; and failing to harbour any sort of remote interest in law as a university degree and as a career. Whatever.

Another "biggest" failure, and yes I'm aware of the inherent contradiction? That of failing to stick to my guns and what I know best. People - i.e. me - are stupid.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I don't remember - which means, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?


Seriously, am I supposed to keep track of my purchases? That's completely impossible.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Everyone who means something to me.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Oh, I'm sure he knows who he is.

14. Where did most of your money go?

That's a freaking good question, and I have some guesses: Esprit, random sellers on eBay, Mango, Zara, NUS Forum Bookstore or whatever. Lovely.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

1. Season 2 of Veronica Mars;

2. Jay Chou's sixth album (which turned out to be that not-possible thing that made me lose interest in him);

3. Law school and we all know how this turned out;

4. Relief teaching in Jurong Junior;

5. Working for the first time but that was more fear than excitement;

6. College Day, but this was mostly fear and dread - the excitement was kind of delayed and only hit me when I was at the last paragraph of my speech;

7. Getting that email from Cambridge asking me to go for a test and an interview;

8. The Cambridge interview; and

9. That's about it.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?

Someday We'll Know by the New Radicals.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Comparatively sadder, although I wouldn't choose to use that word to describe my state of mind. Instead, I'd say:

Dread, for not knowing what's to come;

Dread again, for the fact that I turn 20 this year;

Resignation, for knowing that I single-handedly screwed up the future I wanted for myself; and

Obdurate determination, for defiantly wanting to overcome the shit I put myself through and make the whole law school thing count.

ii. thinner or fatter?

Fucking fatter, hello? And thank you SO MUCH for that timely reminder.

iii. richer or poorer?

Comparing bank account balance? Richer. Ha.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Study, I think, and socialisng: Two things I'm absolutely bad at.

More importantly, I wish I'd written more...or rather, I wish I'd written something, period.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Giving a damn about ordinary, bland and normal guys who turn out to be so not worth it that I can't even begin to put into words the degree of disgust I have for myself for letting it affect me that much.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?


22. Did you fall in love in 2005?

More like, did I fall in love EVER? And the answer is no.

Well, besides Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls but I doubt that are what the survey writer had in mind when he/she (I'm betting it's a she) wrote that question.

23. How many one night stands?

I am an unfucked girl.

Even if I were an already-fucked girl I'm not a one night stand type of person either.

I think.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

Do you have to ASK? Veronica Mars, duh.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Oh, hell yeah. You have no idea.

26. What was the best book you read?

The Lemon Table by Julian Barnes. Well, anything by Julian Barnes is mind-blowing so there you go.

Also note-worthy is Oscar Wilde's A Picture of Dorian Gray.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Pete Yorn and I only have Veronica Mars to thank for this.

Stereophonics, too.

28. What did you want and get?

I wanted to get into law school and I got in. Yeah, that's about it.

Well, I wanted to be valedictorian and got it too but I wanted it in 2004 so that doesn't count.

29. What did you want and not get?

That remains to be seen.

I'm going to die when I get my Cambridge letter.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Sadly, I don't remember watching any movies.

Well, okay, I watched Initial D but that? Hell no.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, maybe.

But for movies that were released prior to 2005 which I watched in 2005, I'd say Ghost World. Fucking amazing. I love the deeply flawed character that Thora Birch played, the way you alternate between hating her and feeling sorry for her.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

19. Hmm, let's not talk about this.

Dim dum at Crystal Jade with my parents rocked though.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?


Make that HOT married men.

I should take this seriously, shouldn't I?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

I Don't Have One.


34. What kept you sane?

Veronica Mars and the perfect opportunity it presented for escapism.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Hmm. Edison Chen, I fancied quite a bit, but that didn't really last very long.

So obviously I'm gonna go with Kristen Bell and Jason Dohring and the cast AND crew of Veronica Mars and its genius writers Rob Thomas (also creator) and Yale graduate John Enbom and Diane R-I'm sorry I can't spell your name and this Phil dude I'm sorry I can't remember your name, all the people who made Veronica Mars what it is, UPN for renewing it, oh my god, Vernonica Mars rules the universe as well as my heart.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The death penalty. I'll leave it at that.

37. Who did you miss?

I'm not programmed to care that much about people.

38. Who was the best new person you met?


39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.

Things fuck up and they always do and when they do they're totally unremorseful about it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Hmm, right.