November 15th, 2006

kiri win

another crappy entry.

Right. I told myself to write my SEP personal statement today but I've been home since 2 p.m. and I haven't done anything. How much of a bullshitter would I be if I said that I'm sitting here, blog-surfing and thinking about what to write?

On the bright side, I'm going to look around for Julian Barnes articles and copy his style, because I'm unoriginal like that. Or maybe I'll look up a short story about culture and travelling or whatever and copy that. Bear in mind, however, that when I say 'copy', I really mean 'absorb his style and modify it to suit my own'. How can I just copy, right? That's so not cool.

Random question: Can an equitable mortgage ever be created over registered land? Then again, I'm flipping through my tutorial notes and it's just come to light that I don't even know how a legal mortgage over registered land is created. Shit. I hate all these technical details; they're so dry and boring, just like Company Law.

And speaking of Company Law, I've more or less decided that I'm not gonna spend so much time splitting my hair over it and that I'm gonna focus on Property and CLT instead. I'm 99.9% sure that I'm not gonna understand anything related to Company Law before the paper itself so I'll just like deal with it after the other two papers are over. Maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot, but it's about opportunity cost, and the opportunity cost of trying to understand Company Law is way too high for me to even fathom. The only time when I'd get something better than a C for it is when a miracle happens and I don't believe in miracles. I should be smart about things. I'm being smart about things now. Practical and realistic, right? I think so too.

Another late night phone call last night. I should stop before I start getting used to this.

I went for driving at 9.50 this morning. The BBDC booking system negligently led me to believe that I was booking a slot allocated to my own group, but when I got there, I saw an instructor whom I've never seen before. I thought, Well, maybe I've just never crossed paths with him before. I was proven wrong when he asked me who my instructors were, which prompted me to ask him, You mean you're not assigned to my group?

He wasn't. When I heard that I just wanted to die. The ONLY REASON I booked the crappy 9.50 A.M. slot was because the stupid system didn't tell me that it was under another group of instructors. There were two other slots available today at more humane times, but I didn't take them because they weren't under my group. So can you imagine how appalled I was when I found out the truth? And because I woke up at 9 this morning for driving, I'm super sleepy now. How wonderful.

Oh man, I just realised that I have three topics after the ones covered in the Property assignment to deal with, all of which I didn't finish reading because the chapters in the TSY textbook were long and boring. I was under the impression that there were only like mortgages and caveats; I totally forgot about the Land Titles Act. And I don't have a hard copy of the LTA and the CLPA and I don't think I'm gonna bother. Should I bother? I'd have to print out the whole damn thing and it's like so long and so troublesome and I'm so lazy.

I gave up on the Company exam thingy and just wrote some crap-ass one-page answer for the essay and some rubbish shit wannabe-answer for the hypo and emailed them to my tutor at 11. I think it's blatantly obvious that I'm either going to fail, or I'm going to get a C. Essentially, it's the same thing, so I guess what I'm saying is that I suck. Period.

Okay. It's 3.08. I haven't thought of what to write for the SEP thing. I'm thinking of writing a 500-word narrative because it's fun, but I have no idea what to write about. And I'm sorry but I'm not going to answer their boring questions ("Why do you want to go on exchange?" "Which region would you want/not want to go?" Zzzzz) because it'd just disrupt the flow of my writing, and I totally won't stand for that. Of course, I can subtly incorporate my answers to those boring questions but I have a feeling the people reading my personal statement won't actually "get it", so why bother?

Maybe I'll do a Chuck Palahniuk. But the people reading it probably won't "get" that, either.

What about...I don't know, American beat poets? Hahaha. I don't know what the hell I'm on about.

I thought I decided to go to China but my parents don't really want me to go to China 'cause they think I won't learn anything there. My only reason for wanting to go to China is because I want to improve my Chinese, which is a crappy reason according to my parents and to Simon. I personally think it's a perfectly valid reason, but now I also want to go to England - more specifically, King's College London, because it's in London and because I could've gone there. I'm not really keen on the US; the only place I want to go to is New York which is not gonna happen, ever, and other places are kinda bleah, except maybe UC San Diego but only because of Veronica Mars (they film in San Diego), which is an even dumber reason than my reason for wanting China. So, yeah.

I don't expect to get to go for exchange. I'm only applying for the heck of it. Either way, I don't give a shit. If I don't get to go, I'll just stay in Singapore and take Jurisprudence. Hahaha.

I still don't know what to write. I think it's time to actively think about it instead of pretending to think about it to make myself feel better. I'm such a disgusting procrastinator.

I still suck at driving. And I'm falling asleep.


Edited to add at 4.59 p.m.:

Turned out I didn't have to rip off another writer's style for the personal statement.

It's good to know that you can write in a style that's almost your own and not want to puke at how bad the result is. It's just a crappy personal statement, but I can't write something mundane and boring and take that lying down. I'm probably putting way too much thought into this; it's deliberately metaphorical and I tried really hard not to write empty pretty phrases that don't mean jack.

Still, it's writing. I don't live for anything else, now do I?