September 15th, 2009

Charah coffee

US Open 2009 final EPIC FAIL</a>. Roger lost. =(

OH MY GOD ROGER IS LOSING.

ONE MORE GAME UNTIL HE LOSES HIS US OPEN.

FIVE SETS. FIVE FUCKING SETS, AND IT CAME DOWN TO HIM DROPPING SERVE IN HIS FIRST SERVICE GAME OF THE LAST SET.

OH MY GOD THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

*

OH MY GOD LOST.

NO SIX IN A ROW.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN.

*

8.41 a.m.:

SIGH. Can't believe I stayed up all night for this.

But then again, it's just not possible for me to be asleep when Roger Federer's playing a match, especially a championship match.

I wish he'd won six in a row. I really wish he'd closed out the second set when he was serving at 5-4. I wish, too, that he didn't serve like a woman (11 double faults, apparently - the fuck?!), that his forehand didn't desert him after the first set, that things had gone better for him.

He didn't play like the Roger Federer that shows up in Grand Slam finals and wins them. And the most telling sign? His first serve fault in the very first service game of the match. His first serve was utterly woeful throughout - 44% in the second set (that he could've won rgsughusjghsjgh sjgsh@!!gh svjghsj), but more importantly, hardly ever showing up on crucial points. You know he's playing a subpar match when he's serving like crap, and you know he's playing below par when he's missing first serves on break points.

You also know he's just not there when he serves 11 fucking double faults in a match. Double fault in the fourth set tie-break - his first point of the tie-break. A double fault.

Shame, really. I have to wonder if there's anything wrong with his back after he squatted a few times. That'd explain the tragic serving (also tragic against Djokovic). But speculations and desperate excuses aside, the minute his serve deserts him, everything goes haywire.

Everything went haywire today. Pot raised his game; Roger didn't. Pot started off shaky, missing first serves and forehands, and Roger played like GodFed for a bit. But when Pot grabbed the momentum and stepped up his game, Roger just faded, like he couldn't do anything against Pot. Pot read his drop volleys, returned his drop volleys, and after a while, started to pass him at the net. What was Roger to do?

Would've helped if he could actually serve out the second set, but well.

Oh well. I wish it could've been six in a row.

At the same time, I'm happy for Pot. He deserves this win. He stepped up his game, he wasn't afraid of Roger, he wasn't afraid of the occasion, he hit his shots well, he served well, and in the end, he was the better player on the day. He deserves this victory. And I quite like him too, so that helps as well.

AT LEAST IT'S NOT ANOTHER GRAND SLAM LOSS TO NADAL.

AT LEAST IT'S NOT MURRAY. BWAHAHAHAHA ANDY MURRAY WHO?

OMG I'M SO HAPPY POT WON A GRAND SLAM BEFORE MURRAY DID. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MURRAY. WHAT? MUGRAY.

Anyway, I'm surprisingly not THAT devastated. Definitely sad for Roger (and for me. Was hoping to see him win the tournament I first saw him win D:), but this doesn't feel as utterly catastrophic as the Australian Open loss. The fact that he's already beaten the Sampras Record helps a lot.

Oh my god I really need to sleep. Been awake since like, 4.08 a.m. I slept two hours before that.

VERY TIRED. Hope Roger is happy despite the loss. He was gracious in defeat, and didn't cry this time thank goodness; if he'd cried I would've died.

Was amusing to see Roger ranting at the umpire over some issue with Hawkeye though. He said, "I don't give a shit what he said." HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, Roger. You will always hate Hawkeye, won't you?

Charah coffee

Day of mourning.

Now that the dust has settled somewhat, here's what I think:

Really bummed that Roger couldn't win it. Am a bit more affected than I thought I'd be in the morning. Thing that stings most is that I had some personal vested interest in his six in a row and his winning here, and seeing him lose a match he had on his racquet in the second set is a bit heartbreaking.

Not devastated though, just disappointed and sad. When I woke up this afternoon at 1 I thought maybe I just dreamt the loss. In my groggy state he was playing at 3-5 in the final set - which probably wouldn't have made much of a difference even if it had happened in real life. But getting broken while serving to stay in the match, and having it end there, was a bit cruel. Especially after he saved two match points. If he'd held serve, maybe he would still have had SOME fighting chance to break back.

He was right though, in his presser: Had his chances. Didn't take them. Had 5-4 in the second, serving for the set, but got broken. Opened the fourth set tie-break with a double fault. Could've gotten mini-break back after gaining control of rallies, but hit backhand long. And of course, his first serve absolutely DISAPPEAREAD, deserting him even on crucial points.

Sigh. If only, if only.

I must say this though: The chair umpire is an absolute IDIOT. This sums it up:


DelPo hit a second serve out, but the umpires didn't say it was out (someone at the crowd did). Roger thought it was out, but thought also one of the linesman that called out, so took long to challenge it. He challenges and the ball was out- meaning: double-fault! But since he took to long (cause some moron shouted out), DelPo argued with the umpire ... who decided to play a f***ing LET!!!!!!!!! When the correct decision is: the ball is out, it is a double-fault!!!!!!!!

I didn't know what was going on when it happened; the commentary was gone as there were some issues with the stupid feed received by StarHub, so I didn't know what they were arguing with the umpire about. But now that I know? OMG I WANT THAT IDIOT'S HEAD ON A STICK. BECAUSE ROGER WENT ON TO LOSE THAT POINT. A POINT THAT WAS A DOUBLE FAULT.

WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY. THAT POINT COULD'VE TURNED THE DAMN TIE-BREAK AROUND. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ROGER EVER LOSING TWO FUCKING TIE-BREAKS IN A GRAND SLAM MATCH.

Ugh. STUPID ASS UMPIRE. I HATE HIM. He had the audacity to tell the GOAT himself to "stop talking" during the changeover when Roger was ranting about Hawkeye after he got broken in the second set. WHO TELLS ROGER FEDERER WHAT TO DO? WHAT A MUG UMPIRE.

SIGH. Roger. =( *holds him tight*

*

In other news, I played tennis with Thx U today. The whole time I couldn't get a shot I hit on Sunday out of my mind, that I didn't talk about here. It was probably the best shot I've ever hit. A backhand drive volley down the line, right in the fucking corner. Like the kind of shots you see on TV.

It was utterly AMAZING. I'm surprised that I managed to contain myself; didn't make a fuss, cheered it in my head and moved on. But WOW. I think I'm never going to forget that. I hit it off a defensive high ball, really took my time to wait for it to fall low enough for me to hit it, and hit it perfectly.

OMG TOTALLY AWESOME MAX.

Today was okay. Still can't get any fucking topspin on the backhand - damn backhand is still as flat as my chest. I guess the bright side is, the 2009 US Open winner (D:) hits his shots damn flat as well.

Mustered up enough balls to hit a winning volley though YAY, off a defensive shot Thx U hit off some ultra-flat backhand I hit to the left side of the court. Though omg the number of chances I had to hit an overhead - the fuck, I was so scared I just stood there and watched the ball fly over my head. I'm such an idiot.

I can also finally tell when I'm just blocking back the ball with the backhand (usually when the ball is too high for me to do anything. I HATE high balls).

Forehand is still tragic. At least there's some topspin. But it really does nothing. Stupid-ass forehand.

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In more other news, I'm still feeling like I did that day.

As a result, I rented three retarded movies to watch. Yay.

Charah coffee

No rhyme or reason.

Just watched Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Was entertained for a couple of hours, and now I'm back to feeling crappy.

I think it could be said, to some extent at least, that I'm quite doomed to being unhappy forever.

Can't articulate my thoughts/feelings.

Why oh why did Roger not win the US Open. If he had, at least that would've been something for me to smile at.

*

Feel unhappy and I don't know why fuck.

*

1.31 a.m.:

Let me try again.

When it gets really bad my chest constricts and my breathing gets interrupted. When it gets really bad and it manifests itself in a physical reaction, I'm thinking about...

What am I thinking about? The future, distant and near. Tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month, two months later. The next two hours. Not even next year, just tomorrow, the rest of the week. Not so much how I have nothing to look forward to in terms of filling out my social calendar (I don't have one), but in terms of how utterly without a purpose I feel.

Idling my days away. Idling my time away. I'm becoming a fossil, trapped in my own incompetence, indifference, and lack of motivation. I know that the only person who can turn this around - this bout of mild depression that I thought ended with the Friday meltdown, but apparently I was wrong - is me. I know that I can't rely on anyone else to make me feel better.

But I feel so stuck. And the fact that I can't write this properly is pissing me off even more, making this even worse.

Fucking backhand is breaking down. And you're taking too much time between serves.

*

Back to wishing Roger had won the US Open so that I'd have SOMETHING with which to take my mind off things. As it stands, whenever I see a picture of him I just feel sad.

What the fuck.