July 31st, 2011

Charah coffee

Un. Believable.

I bought Seasons 1 to 3 of HBO's True Blood in Ho Chi Minh City and this purchase alone has redeemed the entire crappy trip.

OMG I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH. THIS IS THE BEST VAMPIRE TV SHOW I'VE EVER WATCHED. IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN BUFFY. I pretty much spent my entire Sunday watching three-quarters of Season 2 and I had to force myself to stop. I wanted to just watch a couple of episodes but I just couldn't tear myself away from the show; I just wanna find out what happens next. It's so addictive.

And I think the best thing about the show is that it's on HBO because the cable station allows it to do more than a normal station would allow. Apart from the blatant sex and naked bodies, I actually appreciate the in-your-face gore. For example, I was quite shocked to watch a staked vampire literally spew blood from his mouth - in fact, blood was gushing out of his mouth. This was quickly followed by said vampire bursting, like a balloon, with his innards spilling out of his body.

It was positively disgusting. So was a scene of a vampire ripping out a guy's limbs after said guy had attacked him. They only showed the shadow of the ripped limb, but sometimes, what is suggested is more disgusting than what is actually shown. Of course, the follow-up scene of a guy tearing into the severed limb was absolutely disgusting, but it wasn't half as shocking as the shadow of the ripped limb.

In other vampire shows, when vampires are staked, they turn into dust or evaporate or whatever. This is the only show I've watched where staked vampires burst like a balloon. I love it. I've always had a penchant for vampire shows (which is why I abhor the Twilight shit) and I absolutely love how violent and gory this one is. It does the romanticism of the folklore as well, but balances it out with the dark side of the creatures that it portrays. If there's such a thing as a realistic portrayal of vampires, True Blood is definitely it.

Of course, there's a love story. The romance between Sookie Stackhouse and Bill Compton is so utterly to die for. Their first sex scene was epic, so tender and loving; their subsequent sex scenes have been pretty amazing as well. I must admit they were more interesting when they just started going out and Sookie has been quite irritating in a few episodes; but how does your heart not melt at Bill's proclamations of his eternal, undying love for Sookie? SIGH. It definitely helps that Stephen Moyer is quite sexy.

My brother, of all people, was the one that got me started on this show. I don't know why I never got my hands on the episode; I've heard about it for a long time. I enjoy The Vampire Diaries a lot, but honestly, after True Blood, I will never look at a vampire show on the CW the same way again.



Anyway, what I set out to write about when I started this entry wasn't actually True Blood. Wei Chuen and I attended the Miss Earth Singapore pageant last Friday for the sole reason that his friend took part in it (and eventually won). He had to pay $100 per person for this.

It was um, interesting. I don't know why anybody would sign up for this. It opened with the contestants shaking to that Korean song Nobody But You and I felt second-hand embarrassment as I sat there and watched. There was a particular girl who was awkward and seemed self-conscious all night and she didn't move very well, or at all really. I couldn't help but wonder what possessed her to do this to herself.

The most harrowing part was the swimsuit segment. All I could think of was how Contestant #1 should NEVER have signed up for this thing if months of training could not erase the obvious cellulite from her thighs. The awkward contestant referenced in the preceding paragraph also had a chest that made me feel good about my own. Are pageant contestants supposed to be dressed in identical swimswear? Because that was exactly what those girls were dressed in - boring orange string-y bikinis.

And of course, the question-and-answer. I wanted to die a few times. It should have been quite expected that most of them couldn't speak good English but I still could not help cringing at the standard of English that came out of these contestants' mouths. But I think the most offensive part of the whole evening was when last year's winners were invited up on stage to talk, and one of them simply couldn't shut the hell up. The host asked her how the pageant had changed her life and she rattled on and on about several insignificant matters which I don't remember anymore, thankfully; most egregious was how she was actually, sadly, sincere in her speech, as if she truly believed in what she was saying, when the truth is probably that nobody gives a shit about this or the fact that she was a runner-up in some random beauty pageant, purportedly in support of environmentalism, but which in reality has little to do with it. My eyes hurt from too much rolling during her spiel. What is wrong with these people?

Also, the guy host was the worst host ever. He didn't even bother trying. His whole act was completely phoned in, leaving his female counterpart to pick up the slack. What an asshole. He totally had the vibe of a guy who thinks he's good-looking and probably spends a lot of time in front of the mirror. For the record, he's short and couldn't even speak well. When he first opened his mouth I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was as good as asking ME to host.

All in all, it was an interesting night. It was good just to say that I did it. I also sat behind Tan Kin Lian which was quite cool.

Above all else, it was the first time me that Wei Chuen and I attended an event together. He, of course, paid for my ticket; no damn way was I paying $100 for some crappy beauty pageant (I paid for his Backstreet Boys ticket when I dragged him to watch it with me. Just for the record). It was fun and, as always, it was just nice to be with him.


Lastly, I'd like to rant about Borders Singapore. Wei Chuen dragged me there last night. I am never, ever stepping foot back into that illiterate place ever again.

For starters, it's really not as if I expect the average Singaporean to be literate; we all know that the normal Singaporean has never heard of the word "literature" and can't tell a Shakespearean play from a Jane Austen novel, let alone know who they are. But I do expect a fucking bookstore to know the difference.

Let me count the ways in which Borders offended me last night:

1. They have a "top literature picks" section which I excitedly explore, thinking that I was going to uncover literary gems previously unknown to me. Fat fucking hope. Sorry, though I'm not, but I insist on the strict usage of the word "literature", i.e. you don't fucking deface it by putting "chic lit" shit and other crappy popular fiction nonsense in the "literature" category.

2. Along the same line, I was horribly offended to see George Orwell literally placed side-by-side with Mitch fucking Albom. What the hell is this nonsense?

3. I wasn't holding my breath when I looked for Salman Rushdie's Midnight Children because Borders isn't exactly known for its wide range of books, but my non-surprise at not finding it gave way to irritation when I saw an entire fucking shelf packed with his latest novel whose name I cannot remember. One whole fucking shelf. You'd stock so many copies of his latest novel, but not one of the writer's most acclaimed novels? Just fuck off, seriously.

4. And the ultimate fuck-off? I was at the "fiction" section and I suddenly saw - get this - a book on the life of Kate Middleton. As in the other participant in the royal wedding. Did I miss something? Is she not a real person? Have I been dreaming all this while, thinking she's a real person? Wei Chuen thought somebody must have put it there by accident; but it's no fucking accident when there are FOUR FUCKING COPIES of the book.

Just die in a fire, Borders. I was hoping so hard that Borders would similarly close down after the demise of its American counterpart; but alas, it is not to be. Not yet, anyway. What a shame; it's such a waste of perfectly good rent space in Orchard Road. I am never, ever going back to that illiterate, sorry excuse for a bookstore ever again.


Edited to add:

Oh my god, what the fuck is this shit?

I read that this guy is insulting Singaporeans in this video. But is he really doing that? I mean, I really don't bloody understand a word that is coming out of his mouth. This is the kind of PRC accent that make me want to claw my eyes out when I hear it in real life, except it's way worse. Which rock in China did this guy crawl out from? And what's with the weird lipstick?

Worst of all, he honestly sounds slightly psychotic. Coupled with the accent, this video is actually quite creepy.


ETA #2:

30 more seconds of this video and I'm convinced he's gay.


ETA #3:

This is him without the weird make-up.

I would feel so ashamed right now if I were gay.