May 31st, 2013

happy girl

Freaking. Out.

I left the library at 12.40 a.m. Although I reached pretty late (about half past noon), it's almost feeling like I'm back in a law firm again - except, obviously, it's nowhere as bad as that because I'm doing this all for myself.

That said.

Oh. My. God.

I am fucking freaking out.

My first exam is next fucking Friday and I still feel like I don't know anything. My next two exams are on 10 and 11 June - Comparative Constitutional Rights and International Human Rights Law. I don't even know anything. I have not practised writing an essay in an hour (which I desperately need to do). I AM GOING TO FAIL.

I've been having trouble sleeping before 2 a.m. and today is no exception. It's 2.06 a.m. and I just showered, and I am feeling wide awake right now. My plans to wake up at 7ish, 8 and reach the library at 9ish in the morning have been utter, complete failures so far. It goes like this: My alarm goes off at 7 a.m. I turn it off and go back to bed. I don't wake up until 2 hours later at least. I wake up, see the time, note how late it is, but can't get out of bed so I continue sleeping. When I finally wake up, it's 11 a.m. and I go into a panic because the library gets crowded after 11 a.m. and I worry that I can't find a spot in the part of the library that I've gotten used to (I feel very agitated when I have to sit in another part of the library, which is why I don't book a space online - the bookable places are not located in the part of the library that I like).

I also take an hour to have lunch. Sometimes I am super unproductive and I waste an entire day on very, very little.

I am so scared. Not counting PLC exams, the last time I did a closed book exam was for Contract Law in 2006. I seriously have no idea how I did my A Levels. Oh my god how I wish I can bring my notes in. I can't remember ANYTHING OMG FML.

I should go to bed.