January 24th, 2014

happy girl

I hate tennis.

A friend was right when he pointed out that I didn't really care that much about Roger last year, and so he didn't see why I would suddenly be upset that Roger lost to Nadull again for the 37562756176271467253234193874197341st time in his career.

The thing is, Roger's on-court success has always brought me vicarious happiness, especially during periods when I'm feeling down or moody or depressed. Case in point: 2012 was, all in all, a bad year for me, and so it's unsurprising that Roger's Wimbledon victory was one of the best moments of 2012 for me. Similarly, he brought me great happiness when he went on a winning streak at the start of 2012, including beating Nadull en route to his Indian Wells title at the start of the year.

The logical flip side to the coin is that when he loses, I tend not to take it too well. To put it more explicitly: I get fucking depressed - and even more so when he loses to the player that I hate the most. Sure, I didn't really follow tennis or his matches that much last year, which I see in retrospect as a good thing because he was so bad last year. But it doesn't mean that I've stopped being a fan, or that I've stopped using him as a distraction from the issues that I face in my own life. Sometimes, it's simply easier to not think about your own problems and let yourself be distracted by a Swiss guy who hits tennis balls for a living...but it tends not to work out when he loses and dashes your mental image of him hoisting another grand slam trophy in a couple of days' time.

I was so happy when he beat Murray and got into the semis. I can't even put into words now how happy I would have been if he had beaten Nadal and got into the final. It says a lot about the eternal nature of hope (eternally stupid, for sure) that I really thought that he'd get it done this time when all the facts and statistics were screaming at me to not hold out hope.

The only saving grace is that I didn't watch the match because it would have hurt so much more if I had watched it. Still, the stats don't lie: 50 unforced errors over 3 sets. Would it have turned out differently if he'd won the first set tiebreak? The total points won at the end of the first set was 40 to Roger and 41 to Nadull - that was how close it was.

The only thing that can save tennis right now is a Wawrinka victory on Sunday. Since that has maybe a 0.1% chance of happening, it stands to reason that tennis is well and truly dead. It is disgusting that the best player of my favourite sport is a routine cheater who doesn't play by the rules and exaggerates every small injury to give himself an advantage. How can I fucking stomach my favourite player losing to this guy? If he actually breaks Roger's grand slam tally, there will be absolutely no coming back from that. Tennis will be dead, dead, dead.

I hate this sport.