November 15th, 2014

happy girl

Stressed.

I am having a near-insatiable craving for red velvet cake right about now. I've been wanting one since 7pm in the NUS library at Bukit Timah Campus, where I was summoning all my mental strength to get through as much of the Civil Litigation book as I could before throwing in the towel. Alas, I gave up halfway through the chapter on discovery (oops, it's 'disclosure' in England & Wales) and inspection of documents.

To say that I deeply and thoroughly regret signing up for the second part of the QLTS and booking the November/December exam dates would be a massive understatement. If I had known that the Cambridge PhD funding deadline overlaps with the assessment, I would have waited until next June to take the assessment. The stress and time pressure is so bad that I even went on the Kaplan website to see if I can change the test dates; I can, in theory - that is, only if I am willing to fork out 75% of the fees (which is about GBP3,5000). I am not willing to do that, and so I just have to keep on keeping on.

It probably goes without saying that the PhD proposal is a hot mess right now. I have no idea what I'm doing. Juggling two things at the same time is driving me insane and sometimes I feel like a nervous breakdown is just around the corner...which is precisely why I watch the new season of America's Next Top Model every night, to give my poor brain a break.

I can't wait for the test to end. When I'm in London, I'm going to pig out on (including but not limited to) the following:

- my favourite sea salt caramel truffles from Charbonnel et Walker;
- my favourite red velvet cupcakes from Hummingbird Bakery;
- pancakes and the vegetarian breakfast from The Breakfast Club;
- my favourite salad from Birley's (that I ate 3 times a week when I was cramming for my LLM exams);
- scones, scone and more scones; and
- cheese and tomato croissant from Pret a Manger.

Needless to say, Wouter will be dragged along to my pigging out sessions. He's also obliged to watch The Mouse Trap with me and we're gonna go to a nice cocktail bar on the last day of the assessment and I will live my life - at least those few hours - with the illusion that I have no worries, no stress and no obligations in my life, that all I have to do is enjoy tasty cocktails with the sweetest guy in the world.

I can't fucking wait.