November 4th, 2015

kiri win

(no subject)

I am tired, so I will make this short:

1. Save for the unwritten conclusion, I am done with the first draft of my judicial review conference paper. It sucks to high heavens but it's done for now, and I can finally go back to working on my PhD. I realised from the relatively painful process of writing this paper that 1) judicial review is really boring because the theoretical debates are boring; and 2) I'm not very good at thinking or theorising about political processes. I didn't even suggest what kind of weak form judicial review Singapore should adopt because I'm just really bad at thinking up what kind of institutions would best serve the theory that I argue for. Does this make sense? If it doesn't, oh well.

2. This is a little gushy but here goes: Dominic is adorbs. I complained to him about not being able to sleep properly because of the noise from upstairs, and he said that I could get a white noise machine or play some rain simulator that he likes which is available online. Then I mentioned that I was thinking of buying a white noise machine (but obviously, being the busy person that I am, I have not got round to it. I haven't even got round to buying a second pillow). He replied saying not to buy one; he has one that he doesn't use, which he gave to his friend, who doesn't use it either, and that I could have it. Last night, I had trouble sleeping again because of the noise; I even played the rain thing on my old phone but it stopped halfway and I got woken up by the upstairs noise. Basically, it wasn't the best of nights. I relayed all this extraneous information to him and shamelessly asked when I can have the machine.

He is apparently very efficient. A few hours later, he replied saying that his friend had left it under the table in the porter's lodge and that I could pick it up anytime I wanted.

I am now in possession of a white noise machine. My housemates seem to be having an early night today so I don't think I'm going to need it, but I'm sure it will come in handy soon. The point is, this whole thing was so cute. He's still in Germany, so the efficiency is quite impressive. What is also cute is that I noticed his use of what I thought was the em dash in his Facebook messages, which turned out to be the en dash, and he went on this tangent about typesetting and how he has an incredibly pedantic speech on it, which I can't wait to hear.

3. I checked out flights from Singapore to London on 1 January 2016. I was alarmed to see that the 9am flight only had a few seats left. Ergo, I texted G to ask if we could try to sort out this meeting plan. This was three hours ago and he hasn't even seen my message. I'm not super keen on taking a 1am flight on 1 January, so I hope this gets settled soon.

If it doesn't, well, I can stay in Singapore longer, which was what I wanted all along anyway.

4. I am reading The Sense of an Ending for the fourth time. I fucking love this book. I love it so much that I am going to read it now before I go to bed.

5. Tennis in the morning with Tom was great. It was actually quite sunny. He stopped the game after an hour, which was a shame; I could've gone on for another hour more at least. Still, it was good. I love tennis.

6. Speaking of tennis: Roger beat Nadal in the Basel final over the weekend. I was so busy and caught up with work that I didn't even know Roger was playing Nadal in a final, let alone that he won, until I saw it on Facebook. Yay Roger!
kiri win

...

I hate people that are all talk and no action, who don't appear to understand the meaning of the word 'tomorrow', who seem oblivious to other people's time and priorities. Being busy is one thing; being cavalier is another; and being insincere and wishy-washy simply takes the cake.

How difficult is to reply to a text message? It takes maybe 10 seconds to send something along the lines of, 'Sorry I was [insert time-consuming activity]. I have [insert impending deadline]. Let's talk [insert proposal to talk at time of mutual convenience].' No matter how busy a person is, he is not busy enough not to have time to do that.

In the first place, he was the one that started this whole thing. He was the one that said 'we should definitely see each other in sg'. He was the one that was apparently all excited about meeting in Europe. He was the one that said, 'I want to see you.'

I should stop believing the cheap words of someone who isn't reliable, the same person who admonished me about the uselessness of words and how I should judge him by his actions. Well, his actions are shit. They are non-existent. He makes vague plans and doesn't follow through on them, not even when the discussion gets interrupted halfway and he says 'talk tomorrow' but he doesn't. It's ironic how he was the one who said that my tongue-in-cheek directive to him to clear his schedule for me back in Singapore 'forces a perspective'; well, guess bloody what? All his meaningless words about wanting to see me and his flirtatious text messages and casual compliments force a perspective too - that whatever happened in Singapore is still alive, that he still wants it, that he still gives a shit. If you're not capable of living up to it, please fuck off and leave me and my fucking retarded pathetic heart alone. To quote The Cardigans: 'Oh my heart can't carry much more; it's really really aching and sore.'

This really isn't worth the time that it took me to write, and neither is it worth the negative emotion that I just expended writing it. I am going to make brunch now and head to work.