October 23rd, 2017

Charah coffee

(no subject)

First: I won a tennis match! I did beat someone who's only been playing for a year and whom I'd beaten convincingly before, but it was still nice to win. I was happy that he kept hitting to my backhand during the warm-up and thus properly warming up my backhand, making me very happy because it was ON POINT today. My forehand, in contrast, was barely hanging on to dear life. I can't even count the number of forehands I missed, especially the down the line. But my backhand! It was glorious to actually hit it well.

I served and volleyed a couple of points when I'd won. Missed a volley, played a couple of drop shots. Was fun.

I have been pissing and moaning about being sick of tennis, but what that really means is that I am sick of losing. Today's match helped me rediscover some of the joy; it was with palpable happiness that I was hitting the ball, even when I was making mistakes. It feels really good to hit a tennis ball. It is just unfortunate that I have zero game IQ.

I was also super tired today. I woke up at 6ish and got up at 7am. My cold was exacerbated by my run and so I felt quite gross during the match, even rather winded at one point. So I'm glad that I won this one.


Second: this deserves a longer entry, not typed on my phone, but Matt is my boyfriend now.

It still feels a bit weird to say and think that. I sort of sprang it on him when he was over at mine last night with the intention of having a convenient word with which to refer to him. He was basically that anyway, and 'boyfriend' is easier to say than 'this guy that I'm dating', so why not?

When he cautiously affirmed that yes, he's my boyfriend, he asked, 'So are you my girlfriend then?' Apparently people at work already refer to me as his girlfriend. Apparently I'm only the second person he's dated to be called that.

It doesn't change anything, like I told him; it's just a convenient label. It's also one that fittingly reflects my affection for him.

He was super cute before he left, calling me 'girlfriend [my name]' a few times.

And yes, obviously, my useless heart prevailed in the end and I couldn't end it with him. I couldn't because I still like him and I just couldn't, and that's it. It's been going well though. Fingers crossed that it stays this way.