December 17th, 2017

Charah coffee

(no subject)

My time in Singapore so far has been really great. I haven't even really been up to much; but it's just the feeling of being home, somewhere familiar, away from the stuffy claustrophobia of Cambridge, that's making me quite happy. It's also nice to meet up with friends: Yun, Shuting and Pearlyn on Thursday, then Hadyu on Friday. Needless to say, meeting up with my closest friends from secondary school was a blast from the past that I didn't know that I needed until it happened; and it was almost scary how little they've changed! And Hadyu is hilarious as usual, of course. I can't believe I met him at the ICTY. The whole ICTY experience feels like a distant dream.

The family dinner at my aunt's last night was pleasant too, despite eating a bit too much of the (yummy) curry vegetables and getting really bloated as a result. I was supposed to meet a guy today but he postponed it. Is it bad that I was really glad about that? I ended up making spaghetti with pesto, mushrooms and cherry tomatoes for my folks. So much better than going out with a guy, right?


Having said that: I have been talking quite extensively to this guy who messaged me on OKC when I reactivated my account a week ago. His first message to me genuinely made me smile; he said that he'd like to have long conversations with me, pausing every now and then to admire a Monet. How lovely is that? He's also older, vegan, loves the ocean, works in a small company that does environmentally-friendly things, has a cat, and seems to have good taste in films. He also knows a bit of Chinese, which is nice.

Here's the catch, though. He lives in Cardiff. That is so insanely far away. I wouldn't have replied to someone who's not in the same city as me but his message was just so sincere and genuine and earnest, and it spoke to the part of me that no guy I've dated has ever spoken to: my growing love for Monet. But none of that changes the fact that he lives in Cardiff. Sure, it's the same country, but it's so far away.

However, he's said that he wants to go to Cambridge to meet me. I suggested meeting in London which is more mutually convenient, but he said no, it's expensive for me and I'm busy, so he'll come to Cambridge. I checked the coaches and they're at least 6 hours. I would love to meet him, of course; I've really enjoyed talking to him so far (even if it's been via text) and I like that he leaves me voice messages every now and then, including readings of two Seamus Heaney poems (The Walk, one of my favourites; and Digging, which he chose for me). But what if it's awkward in person? What if there's no chemistry? I would feel so bad.

But I am overthinking this. Who knows, the texting may die down over the next weeks. He might meet someone who actually lives in Cardiff whom he connects with. Etc. So yeah, we'll see how it goes.


On another note: OKC is just full of rubbish. I have pretty much stopped talking to the handful of guys that I've responded to save for two (including Guy from Cardiff). Tinder is actually better; I've had way better conversations there. And this guy from OKC who sent me a stupid message to which I replied with nothing but sarcasm actually looked me up on the Cambridge Law website. I didn't reply to his messages because I couldn't be bothered, and he thought he'd offended me, and sent me a message addressing me by my name. Weird much?!