anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

Heroes Season 3 premiere - watch it implode

The Skinny:

Heroes sucks. But Season 2 still sucks more. I guess this means there's some improvement.

The spoiler-free version:

The majority of the storylines are either ridiculous, boring or contrived. The writing continues to be lame and horrendous. The characters continue to go through things that they've been through before in the first two season. Once again, as per Season 2, there is no actual character development, just rehashing the same thing in a different setting.

I must make special mention of the writing. It does nothing to make sense of the characters' actions and in fact only serves to make the characters look like complete idiots. Seriously, major props to the actors for sticking around with this shit because the fact that they can deliver their badly-written lines with straight faces, let alone act? Well, I'm tremendously impressed. Special mention goes to Hayden I Still Can't Spell Her Last Name: She gets some of the worst lines in the show, and yet she still makes me feel for Claire.

Heroes is nothing without its actors. Tim Kring and Gang should be glad that no one has quit on them...yet. The whole premise of Heroes almost ensures some degree of ridiculousness, but what it's been delivering since Season 2 really takes the cake. It's like the writers have run out of ideas and therefore keep rehashing the same powers and the same storylines and the same doomsday We Must Save The World crap. I mean, there's really nothing much they can do with the show without going down the Apocalypse line, but must they draw such clear black and white lines between the villains and the non-villains? Must they constantly make their actors sprout stupid badly-written shit like, "We're doing this to save lives!" "If you don't give me [insert super important item here], millions of people will die!" BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Sometimes I think I'm still watching this just to watch it implode. Because Season 2 is a lot of Heroes crumbling under its own weight, and even though it pissed me off severely, it was also rather entertaining in a train wreck sort of way. Season 3 can't possibly be as bad as Season 2, but it's also nowhere near as good as Season 1. Of course, there's only been two episodes so far, but...well, let's just say I'm not hopeful. At all.

Personal grievance:

So I honestly thought David Anders and Kristen Bell were regulars. They are not. They are pretty much the main reason I even bother downloading this shit, so they better appear in more episodes in the future or I'd be damn pissed.

The spoilers-filled version that you shouldn't read if you want to watch it:

The Bad:

1. Mohinder is the biggest idiot on the face of the Earth. His stupidity and self-indulgence follows through to Season 3 and I just want to die. DIE. Who's dumb enough to inject himself with some unstable DNA thing taken raw from someone with powers that she can't control? Mohinder. AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SCIENTIST. The actor is so pretty but god, I wish Mohinder would die. Everytime he appears I just roll my eyes. HE'S RETARDED. I couldn't stop laughing my ass off when his skin started to come off a day after he became all Spider-Man like. HAHA! Die idiot, DIE.

2. Why fuck with the Ando/Hiro friendship? Why must Future Ando be evil? Why can't they keep one thing pure and uncomplicated? Why? I don't appreciate the drama. At all. Because it feels fake and contrived.

3. Sylar getting Claire's powers. He should have died one season ago. Why is he still around? His only saving grace is Zachary I Forgot His Last Name's amusing deadpan delivery of his cringe-inducing lines. Couldn't help but laugh when he had Claire's brain opened and Claire was all, "Are you going to eat my brain?" and Sylar went, "Claire, that's disgusting." And also the part where Noah shot him multiple times and the bullets fell out and Sylar started healing himself (after getting Claire's power) and Sylar went, "Ouch."

4. Hiro opening the safe when his dad told him explicitly not to. Yes, he had to to set the storyline in motion, but the writers sacrificed the character by writing it that way. First the dad is all, Don't open the safe Hiro! Then Hiro goes, But I want to! I need a destiny! THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME! I AM A STUPID SELF-INDULGENT FUCKWIT! He opens the safe, takes out the formula whatever shit, and of course, he gets it stolen. And before that the dad was all, If this whatever formula lands in the wrong hands, very bad things will happen! Tell me how am I supposed to not think Hiro a complete idiot? He's retarded. And once again, his story is fucking boring.

5. Mohinder/Maya sex. I wanted to puke.

6. Adam gets a grand total of one second of face time. The hell.

7. Sylar is a Petrelli? If that is true, Heroes would have seriously and officially jumped the fucking shark.

8. Nathan and the whole religion thing. Contrivance to the Max. I hope I won't have to sit through his badly-written, cringe-worthy preachy crap like the one in the chapel (worst scene of the whole episode) for the whole season; that was really painful to watch.

The Good:

1. Future Peter Comes Back and Shoots Nathan storyline. In fact, it's the only storyline that I find mildly interesting and clever. Also helps that Peter is all kinds of hot with that scar down his face. YUM!

2. Nathan didn't die! Omg!! HE'S SO HOT.

3. Elle sending off that huge electrical shock to save herself from Sylar. I honestly thought she was going to die, and if she had died? I would just stop watching this shit.

4. WEEVIL AND VERONICA TOGETHER AGAIN!! Okay, not really, but it was nice seeing Kristen Bell and Francis Capra in the same scene, if only fleetingly.

5. Matt talking to the turtle was quite funny.

Okay I'm wasting too much time on this. Bottom line? Heroes still sucks. I better get more Adam and Elle next week.

Tags: tv shows

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