anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

(Miami 2009) An Open Letter to Novak Djokovic.

Dear Novak,

You are an absolute, class A idiot.
Pray tell who gets broken while serving for the second set, to stay in the match, when up only one break? You do, I suppose. I'm glad I turned off the TV and returned to my exam when I did, though I did so under the impression that I'd be able to treat myself to a third set when the exam is over; nonetheless, I'm glad I didn't have to watch you choke. More importantly, I'm glad I didn't have to watch Andy Murray win yet another title.

Dear Nole, do you know how close you were to making things right in my book again? Beating Murray would've done the trick. Hell, taking him to three sets and losing in the end might've done the trick too. But no - you had to go and lose, and in straight sets, after you broke back for 1-1 and broke again for a lead in the second set, too. No wonder they call you Choke-kovic.

What a shame, too. Before I turned off the TV, you were playing awesome, inspired, all-court aggressive tennis. Save for that tragic drop shot that barely grazed the net, your fearless forehand winners that dangerously skirted the lines reminded me of why I liked you before. That one miraculous drop shot that you didn't miss showed me why you insist on playing the drop shot even though it's, clearly, a low percentage play for you: when you hit the right spot, it's absolutely magnificent. That drop shot was pure genius in its execution and placement, but too bad you couldn't execute it twice.

The difference between you and Murray, dear Nole, is that your tennis is actually pleasing to my eyes. I like watching you play when you're playing close to your best. Unlike Murray, you take risks, you're aggressive, and when you're in the zone, you're virtually unstoppable.

Unfortunately for you, another difference between you and Murray is that Murray doesn't wither and wilt in the sun the way you do. During what little I saw of the match, I couldn't help but yell at you mentally to stop looking like you were about to collapse, and when the trainer came out at 0-1 in the second, I couldn't help, too, but roll my eyes and laugh. Predictable Novak. Just utterly predictable.

You know what you need to do? Quit the stupid Princess complex and start training. You have no excuse not to be able to handle hot weather if you're serious about being a professional tennis player, and clearly you are, or you wouldn't be the #3 player in the world. And so it strikes me utterly hilarious that you retired in the Australian Open against my darling Andy (Roddick) due to heat problems, nevermind that you won the same tournament a year before, and that you looked like you couldn't handle the heat today. Come the hell on Nole, this is ridiculous. If Nadal can condition himself, so can you. I'd hate to see Murray take over your #3 spot so stop being lazy and complacent and work.

Having said all that, I have one last thing to say: What the fuck is up with your crappy tennis nowadays? Your first set and a half against Roger the other day were tragic and you were lucky Roger played worse than you; otherwise he would've ran away with the match 6-1, 6-2 (or okay, maybe 6-3). If it's your racquet, change back to Wilson, or just suck it up and adapt to your new Head. Whatever it is, no one likes to watch a spray of unforced errors from your racquet when it's clear you're capable of so much more, so get your act together and regain your form already. I'd love to see Roger beat you when the two of you are at your top form like last year's US Open semi-final, because your tennis is worthy of being pitted against his. THAT would make for thrilling tennis, not the Roger/Rafa crap, not your crap semi-final against Roger's crap tennis, and certainly not more Murray/Simon/backboarder crap against Roger's exquisite tennis.

In conclusion, Nole, you are an idiot, and you need to stop being an idiot because you know you're capable of not being an idiot. Stop the choke-fest please, and start winning again. Of course, you must eventually realise that you have to lose to Roger Federer, but in the meantime, you can beat everyone else on the tour.

Well, maybe not Andy Roddick. He's still my #2.

Tags: andy murray, miami masters, novak djokovic, roger federer, tennis

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