Over the phone he said, "You have to teach me Chinese. Your dad doesn't speak English right?"
Ten seconds later: "Does he speak Singlish?"
He asked to watch a Singaporean movie or TV show on Sunday. I cannot believe I did this - I really cannot believe I did this - but I stupidly played him Phua Chu Kang. I wanted to die as I sat across the table from him and listened to the exaggerated Singlish coming from his laptop. It was an episode featuring Mark Lee about how Phua Chu Kang thought he was losing his ah beng-ness, which naturally featured all sorts of stereotypical beng behaviour. I sat through most of it...until I got to the spitting scene. I couldn't take it. I turned my head and covered my ears and begged him to turn it off.
He was fascinated. At one point he looked up at me with a stunned expression and asked, "Is this how Singaporeans speak?!"
The look on his face was priceless. I'm pretty sure he was having second thoughts about wanting to learn Singlish. Over the phone just now he said that was he going to watch other episodes from "that Singaporean show" and I was all, "OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOO." I totally regret doing what I did. What a horrible representation of my country - moreso because it's not exactly inaccurate. It's exaggerated, but not inaccurate.
So fucked for Jurisprudence essay. It's Tuesday already and the deadline is next Thursday and I don't have an argument. I don't think I can see Arnaud this weekend. I'm so irritated with how stupid I am.