When the said parent tries to fix her child up with some guy whom the child has never met but whom the parent vaguely remembers the child seeing - when the child was not yet ten.
My mom wants to fix me up with my cousin's friend from childhood. Why? Because the friend is Taiwanese, going to do his Ph. D. in some form of Engineering or other in the States, and had really rosy cheeks when he was a kid. The last point was in response to my requisite question, "Is he cute?" The most important reason, needless to say, is the fact that he's going to do his Ph. D. Initially I thought my mom was just joking around, but she actually mentioned it to my cousin, who thankfully said, "I'm sure [Yelen] can find her own boyfriend."
I wouldn't mind meeting this guy - if my mom weren't the one in the background pulling all the strings. It randomly occurred to me today that I'm turning 22 this year which is an utterly horrifying thought, and now the mere notion that I need my mother to help me find a date only further reinforces how bloody old I'm getting. And that is just not right.
In any case, I gave my parents two scenarios in which I would go out with my cousin's friend, both of which they rejected. First: Clubbing. My mom was all, "So noisy how to talk?" I said, "That's exactly the point! It'd be so noisy that my not knowing what to say would be my perfect cover for why I'm not talking." My mom added, "Your cousin doesn't even club." I said, "He can start!" Somehow my mom wasn't too keen on the idea. I, for the life of me, cannot fathom why.
Second: Since he's Taiwanese, I said to my dad, "We could go to Taipei together!" My dad glared at me and said, "No."
Oh well, it wasn't like I refused it outright, and it's not my fault that my parents aren't willing to think out of the box. Too bad!
Anyway, I was supposed to meet Marcus today but I haven't exactly finished my part for the Law IV script and I'm meeting Hani tomorrow morning so I told him that I had to cancel. It was probably a good thing anyway, 'cause I woke up at 9 this morning to watch In the Valley of Elah with Chloe and Jolie at 11.05 a.m. which means I'm quite sleepy right now. I always seem to meet him when I'm sleepy, probably because we never meet in daytime, and that's another trend - my sleepiness - I think we should buck.
Not that I'd be any less sleepy in daytime actually. Aren't I always sleepy? I seem to be always sleepy.
On another note, I reached Orchard at like 10.30 which was insanely early. There was like NO ONE AROUND. Okay, I exaggerate, but all the shops in Cineleisure were closed, even the ticketing counter at Basement 1 which was most inconvenient. The nearest coffee joint was the Gloria Jean's right outside Cine and I didn't have enough time to walk to Starbucks so I decided to get coffee at GJ.
It was pretty bad idea. Not only did the coffee suck (I couldn't taste no coffee man), the girl at the cashier was a complete retard. I know I'm not exactly the most patient person around, but I do hesitate before calling a service person a retard. Even when they're slow or slightly inattentive, they don't usually put their stupidity on display which gives me no ground on which I can accuse them of being stupid.
But the Gloria Jean's girl? Stupidity in full fucking bloom. It was insane. First, I went up to the cashier and told her that I wanted an iced latte. She seemed to have heard me and she turned to her co-worker and said something to him which I didn't catch because my phone rang, and I confirmed my dental appointment for tomorrow. Simultaneously I took out a $10 to pay her, and after I hung up I handed her the $10.
She looked at me stupidly for a split second, then said, "Can I have your order?" (You know, I bet she didn't phrase it so politely.)
Like, hello? I've already told you that I wanted a bloody iced latte. Are you deaf? That skirted the realm of stupidity, but it wasn't full out stupid yet. It was still okay. So I repeated my order, and because I can't drink sweetened coffee, I asked her, "Your iced latte is unsweetened right?"
She stared blankly at me like I was speaking Greek, as if she'd never heard the word 'unsweetened' before in her life. I pointed to the menu and said, "It's written on the menu that it's unsweetened. I just want to make sure that it won't be sweetened."
She was all, "Ummm...we put sugar syrup."
(Aside: WHAT THE FUCK? Your bloody menu says that your iced latte is unsweetened, and yet you put sugar syrup? Do you not understand what 'unsweetened' means? Is it not glaringly clear that when you put sugar syrup in iced latte, the bloody latte ceases to be 'unsweetened'? I cannot comprehend the sheer stupidity of what she told me.)
I decided not to argue with her about what the menu said and told her, "Can I have it unsweetened please?"
More hemming and hawing. She turned to her co-worker, then turned back, all the while going, "Umm..."
Oh my god. In the end I had to tell her what to do: "Don't put the sugar syrup."
Then she finally got it. I wonder how long it's been since someone switched on the bloody light bulb in her head. I mean, okay, so she seemed quite young, maybe post-JC or whatever. But it's one thing to be inexperienced; it's quite another to be inexperienced, and to piss people off. You can be inexperienced but try to be charming about it, and if you don't have the personality for it, why the hell are you working in Food and bloody Beverages? It's utterly annoying to come across some random cashier girl at a bad coffee joint early in the morning who seems to have the comprehension capacity of a five-year-old. Seriously, how difficult is it to not pour sugar syrup into a cup of iced latte? You're even saving sugar syrup for your boss in the process - talk about a win-win situation for both.
Okay, fine, maybe I'm just mean. But still! She was retarded. End of story.
I was going to rant about the standard of the service industry in Singapore but on second thought, what a waste of my time, and it's a pretty frequently occurring theme of my online journal anyway. I'm sure I'd get round to it again in the near future, because my war against the non-existent service standards of this country is a ceaseless, undying one. So there.
Speaking of wars, I was surprised at first to find out that Paul Haggis, he who directed In the Valley of Elah, also did Crash. I ranted about how shitty Crash was in one of my entries but I can't remember which one and I'm not bothered to search, so in summary, I hated Crash because I thought that the movie thought that I was an idiot and I did not appreciate that at all. It was heavy-handed, it was melodramatic, it was over-bearing. And did I mention it was heavy-handed? And pretentious? And predictable? Without compelling storylines to follow? And it tried too hard to be like Traffic? And that is utterly tragic? But above all else, it was just over-bearing. I mean, yes, I get that racism is bad, but it's not anything I don't already know, so if you don't plan to bring anything new to the bloody plate, stop bludgeoning my head with the plate; it's decidedly unpleasant, and it's a waste of my time. That was what Crash was: A waste of time. Utterly inconceivable how the hell it won Best Picture. The people that voted for it probably haven't watched anything outside of Hollywood, and we know how much trash Hollywood produces, such that an over-ambitious piece of crap like Crash appears to be celluloid gold when it's really cellulite crap.
Anyway, enough about that. I'm sure I'm bludgeoning my point over people's heads by now. I was surprised at first when I made the Crash connection, but now, not so much. The more I think about it, the more the last scene is just so Crash. It was as if the director's anti-war message wasn't already super bloody obvious throughout the whole film, and he just felt so damn compelled to hit me between the eyes one last time with his "war is bad" message. I mean, okay, I totally agree and I think that war in general is utterly senseless, but I just totally saw the upside down flag coming, and it was really quite extraneous. Without that last scene, the film would've had the subtlety that would have made me like Crash a lot more than I did (which is none whatsoever), and because of that last scene, the film's relative (to Crash) subtlety was undermined. Just like that.
You know, if it weren't for the acting, it probably would've come across than more preachy than it was. With a film like Valley that deals with the Iraq War, an issue so contemporary and immediate, there's a definite tendency to go over the top with your sermonising and to conflate the writer/director's voice with the characters'. I feel like Tommy Lee Jones' character was supposed to be Haggis' mouthpiece to sound his anti-Iraq war message - which would have been rather disastrous without TLJ's amazingly restrained, dignified performance. I was expecting hysterics when he found out his son was dismembered, but there was no hysterics at all. I was really moved by his portrayal of a father who'd just senselessly lost his son to a war in which he used to believe, who had just discovered that his military ideals did not hold up at all in real life.
I also did not recognise Charlize Theron. AT ALL. My most vivid impression of her is still her portrayal of Erika in The Yards, opposite my husband Joaquin Phoenix, and in it she was all glam chick with her short black bob and heavy mascara. Hot.
Lastly, I thought the son looked like David Anders, my other husband.
Anyway, it was good seeing Chloe and Jolie again. We should totally hang out more often! Like, totally.
My mom made me gin and 7-up with lemon and I'm feeling quite sleepy. I think I should hurry up do Law IV before I fall asleep. Yes, I should.