anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,
anotherlongshot
anotherlongshot

eight things meme.

My blog is in a dire need of non-DCook entries, and I currently cannot pull anything interesting out of my arse that isn't David-related. Luckily I chanced upon a meme on someone's blog, and since I'm bored, I'm going to do it.

RULES:
1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

(Of course, we can ignore these rules. It's not like they're laws or anything.)

Eight things

1. His name must be David Roland Cool Cook. (Edit on 29 March: WAH LAU I can't believe I mis-typed my husband's last name!!!)

Okay, no, let's start again. For real this time, and not in any particular order. I'm writing them down as they come to my head.

1. He must not smoke.

After two smoker boyfriends out of three, I think it's safe to say that I've had enough. Let me say this for the record: I hate cigarettes. There's nothing nastier than coming home after a date with your hair full of the stench of cigarette smoke, as well as your skin and your clothes and your bag and your shoes and basically everything that you had with you when you were with the said smoker. Kissing a smoker is also like making out with an ashtray and that is fdisgusting.

Having said that, I must admit to a weakness I have: Super drop-dead gorgeous hot guys holding a cigarette. Joaquin Phoenix instantly comes to mind. But you know, that doesn't quite translate to real life, I find, so I think I'm still safe, and I've learned my lesson. Totally. No more smokers, please.

2. He must like, if not love, reading, writing and literature.

Writing = Yelen. If he doesn't understand writing, he doesn't understand me. Literature = my biggest love ever. If he doesn't appreciate literature, I can never share my biggest love eve with him; what's the point then? Reading = the most basic thing that any halfway literate, mildly educated person should do on a regular basis. If he doesn't read, he's an idiot. Plain and simple. And we all know I don't date stupid people (anymore).

3. He must like, if not love, music.

Simply put, who doesn't like music?

A caveat: He must not like shitty music. And since I'm very picky about what I listen to, and I tend to shun most things mainstream and pseudo-rock, it means that he has to at least be on the same wavelength as me when it comes to music. Some appreciation for classical music is preferred. I think there's nothing hotter and more of a turn-on than to attend a classical concert with a guy. (Er, I'm weird.)

4. He must be physically appealing.

I tend to go for guys that are well-built and slim, or at least not visibly fleshy/tubby. Guys are not allowed to have bellies unless his name is David Roland Cook. They're also not allowed to be balding at an early age unless his name is David Roland Cook. No gross yellowish stained teeth as a result of smoking, he must be taller than me, dimples are swoon-worthy which of course I'd know a thing or two about, and a good complexion is a must. Ah, yes, how utterly shallow, but I'm sorry, I just don't date un-goodlooking people, and I make no apologies about it. The way I see it, there's absolutely no reason why I have to date down, you know?

The good news is, I tend to overlook a lot of physical short-comings if his personality and talents and intelligence and whatever are enough to make up for it. See, for instance, David Cook. I love him, belly and comb-over and everything. So yeah, learn how to be like DCook and I think even an ugly dude can be set for life.

(Gah, I'm so mean. Have I mentioned I'm on a dating strike?)

5. He must be smart.

This goes without saying. He must have his own opinions on political, ethical, social, etc issues. He must like words, and yes, nerdy hobbies that are related to words (crossword puzzles, for instance, and of course, who could forget Scrabble?) and even numbers/mathematical stuff (the multi-coloured cube thing, Sudoku, both of which I don't do but I can appreciate the brain of a guy that does) are major turn-ons. And jigsaw puzzles. And all sorts of uncool, nerdy thing. I love nerds because nerds = brain, and we all know how I love sexy smart brains.

6. He must be sensitive.

Nothing turns me off faster than male chauvinism and male insensitivity. When a person is upset, don't tell that person "I told you so" even if it may be the truth. It's just adding oil to the fire and it doesn't help matters at all. He must know boundaries, when to cross them, when to obey them, and think for others in ways that count, not in ways that, more likely than not, are mostly self-serving.

Also, if he cheats on me, I fully expect him to tell me the next day so that I can end the relationship. If he lets me find out about it, knowing the extent of my vindictiveness and the profound truth in the saying "hell hath known no fury like a woman scorned", I don't think I can even begin to describe the kind of hell that I'm capable of putting him through. I know I'm all nice and sweet when I'm in love with someone; but when that's over and shit starts to happen, I become the cold hearted bitch that's currently writing this entry. So, yeah.

7. He must not talk down to me or make me feel like I'm not his equal.

Yeah, so I no longer accept bullshit from anyone, and if any bullying has to be done, it will be from me. I sound like a raging feminist. But you know, I'm really not. I'm just protecting myself like a normal, intelligent person would.

Most importantly:

8. He must be capable of love.

This speaks for itself. If I'm committed to someone, I fully expect him to show the same amount of commitment to me. I'm sorry, but there's no such thing as unconditional love. When I tell a guy I love him, it comes with a condition attached: I will love him only if he loves me back. If he doesn't, it's the end of the road and he's out of my life. It's as simple as that. Because anything that falls short of that is a waste of time, of energy, of my emotions, and is therefore not worth it.

Right, I think this is the part where I tag eight people: Okay, I'm actually going to tag since I'm currently bored to death, omg! I tag...the usual suspects lor. You know, Mag, Rui (though she doesn't blog anymore booo), Lavan, Tingren, oh my god I can't come up with eight, Khai, Mel, Yuenmei, Tris. YAY EIGHT NAMES! So proud of me.

***

You know, I think I'm still capable of love, but not in a wide-eyed, blindingly trusting sort of way anymore. I agree fully with what Veronica Mars said: Love is an investment; information is insurance. Cynical? Hell yeah. But not without reason.

Right, since I woke up at 7.15 this morning, I'm currently unable to pull anything vaguely emo out of my arse on demand. So yeah. Besides, did I mention the dating strike? I just don't care.

I want to go back to my David Cook Universe of Heartwarming Family Love, Supreme Hotness, and Nerdy Hobbies now, because...real life kind of sucks.

current music: The Strokes - Is This It (album) (Oh my god, it's not David Cook)

Tags: david cook, guys, personal, relationships
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