anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

After Cambridge rejection, girl, 19, commits suicide.

After Cambridge rejection, girl, 19, commits suicide.

For the over-achievers amongst us, the crossover to the New Year isn't about fireworks and alcohol and beach parties. Instead, it is that time of the year when top universities like Cambridge mail out their decision letters to anxious and stressed out applicants. If you're lucky, you'd be starting off your New Year on a good note; but if you're unlucky, you may just wind up like one 19-year-old applicant who received a rejection and took it so hard that she jumped to her death from her seven-storey HV Ave condominium.

Yelen was an almost-straight A's student who was enrolled in the Faculty of Law at the National University of Singapore. According to a secret diary the police found when combing her bedroom for evidence, she was so unhappy there that she decided to look for reprieve abroad. By a pure stroke of genius, she decided that she'd find that reprieve and escape by applying to one of the most competitive universities in the world, Cambridge, and to an extremely competitive subject, English (Literature). She didn't expect to get in, she wrote in an entry dated September 2, 2005, but if she got in, she'd go, without a doubt. She thought that Cambridge was the answer to solve all her problems and placed the stakes so high that she knew the blow of a rejection would be nothing less than devastating.

A striking story, indeed. Did she know then that it would hit her so hard that she'd kill herself? This remains a question that only Yelen has the answer to, and she had taken that answer with her to her grave. But for any eager and curious readers out there, her state of mind pre-suicide, post-opening mail from Selwyn College, was neatly written down in a suicide note found by the police stashed between two Julian Barnes novels in her bookcase (The Lemon Table and Arthur & George). The police has kindly allowed us to reprint her suicide note, which was written in neon pink ink against a charcoal-black piece of paper:

"I don't know what to do with myself anymore. There is no meaning in life, no point to the things that I do. The thought of going back to law school after all that I've done to get out...the thought of this utterly disgraceful failure...god I can't take this. I can't live with myself because I'm simply not good enough. I was never good enough. I must have been fucking high to think that I ever stood a chance. I wish it didn't have to come to this, but my expectations hopes were like a house of cards and the rejection letter sniffed on it and left snot everywhere too. How gracious of them. How well they must sleep at night now, knowing that their decision has caused the death of a perfectly intelligent, talented female in Southeast Asia. Yes, this is my revenge and after I die I will return and haunt them every day until the day that they die.

I am sorry I hadn't done this sooner. Now, everything is so clear: The meaning of life is that there isn't one. After all, we all eat shit fuck kill and die and that's all there is to it. Life is meaningless. I wish more people knew this profound truth.

I bid everyone adieu."

Yes, you can take out that tissue now and wipe your eyes. Such a tragic end to a promising young girl! When we arrived at the crime scene, we caught a glimpse of Yelen's bloody and hand-cuffed corpse as the police was carrying it out. Even with her head split open we could still tell that she was a pretty little thing. What a tragedy indeed.

This tragedy tore through her condominium and people stopped long enough to ask questions. After ten minutes, they went back to their daily routines.

To our dear readers, let this serve as ample warning: If you ain't got it, don't even think of trying. Quell that preposterous over-ambition and nip it in the bud. Otherwise, you may just end up like Yelen: pretty, smart, possibly even talented (her suicide note contained a pretty nifty metaphor - yay for metaphors!), and literally dead. Such positive traits won't do you any good if you're buried six feet under and feeding plants!

Oh, aren't we clever.


Apart from the part where I killed myself (I wish), and apart from some obviously-exaggerated details, everything else is true.

I can joke about it but it doesn't mean that you can and it sure as hell doesn't mean that I'm okay.

I was going to write about the stuff I've been up to this week but that letter killed all urges to recap.

I have a bad feeling that this is going to be a very bad, disastrous year.

It sure did not start off well. No reason for it to end well, let alone get better as it goes along.

America's Next Top Model, take my mind off things.

Tags: angst, cambridge, law school, personal

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