anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,
anotherlongshot
anotherlongshot

That sinking feeling.

I feel like I am being slammed repeatedly into the same brick wall. It is shocking that my head has not burst open yet.

I don't know how much longer I can do this. All I see are dead ends, options that are not legally available to me, and I'm left with a nasty feeling of regret - that I should have done something when I was a student; that I should have taken that internship with the NGO a couple of months ago. But I am too single-minded for my own good. I can't focus on more than one thing at a time. I wanted a distinction and that was my goal and I couldn't focus on anything else, let alone have a serious think about what I wanted to do after my course was over. And then the internship offer came and I turned it down because I was job hunting.

In the end, I am left with nothing - just the barely-there comfort of words written on a single piece of paper that suddenly don't feel important anymore.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Tags: angst, personal, via ljapp
Subscribe

  • Angst

    I had some white wine with E and his housemate last night while watching a film called Clemency. I don’t know if it was the wine, or the fact that I…

  • The Real vs The Unreal

    I haven't blogged very much these days because there's only so much writing I can do in a day: the PhD (let's not talk about this), and the Daredevil…

  • A Bad Day

    Today has been a combination of bad news, unproductivity, physical tiredness, and the usual searing hatred towards the PhD that I can't seem to…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments