anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

the caution in lust, caution.

At 4 a.m. I was finishing up with my Emergencies term paper and of course when I say 'finishing up' I mean cutting down the bloody word count from 6188 to 4392. The prof very nicely said that he won't penalise for exceeding the word limit to up to 10% so at 4400 I happily cheered and wanted to shut down my laptop and go to bed. But because I'm pedantic and anal, I decided to read it through just in case there are grammatical errors or typos or whatever.

So at 4 a.m. I was absolutely sick of my paper and I was absolutely sick of work. On a whim, I went to the Cathay's website and booked a ticket for the 3.55 p.m. showing of Lust, Caution.

It's the kind of film that I would make an effort to catch. It's the kind of film that I would've thought was absolutely amazing...perhaps a year ago. Maybe the whole thing hit too close to home, I don't know, but I just felt so tired when the film ended, like the entire year has been packed into the two-hour film, like I was re-visiting old wounds and ripping apart the stitches. What a great cautionary tale against falling in love. The concluding scene with Tony Leung was simply heart-breaking. And I just don't have the capacity for such heavy, stifling emotions anymore.

So no, I didn't like it very much. Not to say it wasn't well-made though, because it was, and the fact that I didn't like it only goes to show how good it was. But sitting through those emotionally draining two hours THEN driving home as the sun sets all by yourself was a very depressing activity. I should have asked Rui to come watch with me. Sigh. At least it wouldn't have been half as depressing. Kenneth said it was emotionally draining and he was so right.

Wasn't a very smart way to ease myself into full-fledged mugging mode, was it?

And speaking of mugging, I have exactly...ten days before the Evidence paper. And I have no idea what is going on. It therefore follows that I am fucking screwed. And I think I hate my Emergencies paper. But I always hate my papers so what else is new? It's actually due tomorrow but I actually planned on finishing it on Monday so I was actually behind time, handing it up on Tuesday. Ugh.

I have two gigantic pimples on my face and ten million small ones. I haven't had a break out like this in a very long time and I am DISTURBED.

Also, I'm sure this is going to come as a shock to everyone because it certainly came as a shock to me: I'm script-writing for Law IV! Like, how totally exciting is that? I've never written a script before but the strongest part of the short story-type thingies that I've written in the past was always the dialogue so...I hope all goes well.

The Emergencies prof took us out for lunch on Monday after our last seminar and it made me realise that I really did enjoy the module. Shaun and I were the only Singaporeans at the table and it was really interesting interacting with people from so many different countries (the exchange students and the Masters student) and hearing their perspectives on things. The downside? I didn't talk very much at all. Haha. Throughout the entire module I must've spoken up a grand total of three times and I didn't say anything particularly earth-shattering but I enjoyed the discussion in class and the issues we dealt with. In fact, the seminar on post-conflict states gave me another possible career path and I think I've enjoyed this module more than anything I've taken in law school. It also helps that the Prof is super nice. Lunch at the vegetarian restaurant was really good and he paid for our cabs! How nice is that?

Okay, great, now I wish I'd written a better paper or read some of the further reading stuff. But I was lazy. And I'm really lazy. But I'm quite fascinated by the issues that arose in the course, especially considering what's going on right now in Pakistan and Georgia. It's when such glaring disregard for law is taking place in a country not so far away that you realise how important an independent judiciary is, how important the law is, how important the people who pledge to uphold the law are. I added this point into my paper rather hastily at like 2 a.m. and I'm not sure if it really came across very well. But just because Musharraf has replaced the entire Supreme Court, doesn't mean that judicial protests against unfair and illegal executive action are useless. To quote my paper, a symbolic check is better than no check at all. And it's my third year of law school and I still believe that law is about so much more than making money and drafting contracts and - brace yourself - it's about making a difference. Small, minute, life-changing, globally felt - it's making a difference.

I would have to think about this very carefully when pupillage applications open next year.

I feel like going for the 337A talk! But I'm lazy! And I'm having lunch with my mom! AND I NEED TO STUDY!

But I already missed MH's death penalty talk. I don't wanna miss the 337A talk too. But but but...I'm tired.

Sigh. I'll try to sleep early tonight.

Edited to add:

I signed up for the talk after all.

Tags: angst, assignments, exams, kenneth, law school, love, movies, neb

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