anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

if i died today, i don't think i'd cry

I am dying. I found out I've got not one, not two, not three, but four tests on Thursday. If this is the mere beginning to the rest of 2002, I don't know how I'm going to survive.

I went to see my Music Elective teacher to ask her about the possibility of me quitting the subject. Basically, she told me to see the in charge (who was my form teacher in the year 2000) with a letter from my mom "as soon as possible", and she also chucked in that the letter should be "politically correct". Whatever that means. (I know what it means, but don't understand what she means, you know what I mean?) She also asked why didn't I study for the subject, and only did so the day before the actual exam. I don't know how long it has been since her teenagehood, but I'm 15 years old. I'm a teenager. All I want to do right now is play my days away, and I'm really not interested in confining myself to books. It's pretty normal, and the only reason why it's such a rare sighting in my school is this: My school is made up by a bunch of freaks.

Okay, so I do go to one of the top ten schools in Singapore (yes, our schools are actually ranked according to merit). In fact, if I'm not wrong, my school is the 6th best one. But come on. I was 13. I was naive. I could've transferred to some shitty school so that I can reign (ha, ha), but I didn't, as I wanted to "be with my friends" (that's a quote). Is that a good reason for me to pay so horribly for my unfortunate mistake? I don't suppose so.

Reached home at 4, just had lunch. I don't like eating so late...I have such irregular meals, it's no wonder I keep getting gastric pains. Oh, and I ran for the bus just now. I was panting for ten minutes straight; I'm that un-athletic (sp). Also, I sat opposite this really handsome boy. He was listening to his Discman. Heh. I like boys, because I can't have them.

it's not very meaningless
the changes one makes lying down
it's almost the way a mountain feels
when it becomes a star
- jim carroll

Tags: jim carroll, school

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