anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,
anotherlongshot
anotherlongshot

I need an intervention.

Am I just unnaturally attracted to useless fucking drama, or am I simply idiotic?

I am struck with an urge to contact G, ask if he's in Singapore, meet him.

For what? Am I even over this? I don't even fucking know. I was in Orchard today and when I walked towards 313 Somerset, past Oriole and the Japanese beer place opposite Oriole, I thought of him, the night we met there, had some funky Japanese beer, how he kissed my neck.

After my haircut, I briefly thought of taking the MRT to Dhoby Ghaut to see if he was around what were his usual haunts 9 months ago. On the bright side, I extinguished that thought quickly enough before I could act on it, and if I had done it, it would have been just one stop away from where I was.

I don't want him in the same intense way that I wanted him six months ago. I think I am just curious to see how I would react to seeing him, if there would be any residue of whatever we shared during that one month in Singapore last year. The risk, though, is high; namely, I don't want to be sucked back into his vortex of doom. It took me so much energy and effort and time to get myself out; it does not seem worth it to risk undoing all this progress that I have made.

Yet, I feel as if it would remain a nagging thought at the back of my head if I don't do it.

John has a ridiculous theory that I engineered my singlehood just in time for my trip back home, where G presumably is. It is a totally silly theory that is completely false, of course, but how messed would that be if it were true? Fortunately, it is not true.

This entry is stupid. I am wide awake at 2.03am. I ought to try to sleep.

*

Met Mag for lunch! It was awesome to see her. It was too bad that I was really sleepy for some reason; she said I looked pale and bloodless when she first saw me. How sad. Dinner on Wednesday is gonna be great!
Tags: g, mag, singapore
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments