anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,
anotherlongshot
anotherlongshot

This Bloody PhD

I am currently in Melbourne, in my parents' apartment, dressed in a spaghetti-strapped tank top and short shorts in the winter night, snuggled beneath the duvet. Great stuff! I'm here with my parents; we're visiting my brother and his girlfriend, and we're going to Sydney the day after tomorrow.

This PhD business is just...I nearly bailed on this trip after a horrible Skype call with my supervisors. I'd basically not done anything substantive because I was wrapping up the reading and I hadn't started writing, and so I sent this shitty introduction and a few bones of a skeletal outline before the call. They pretty much ripped me a new one for that. After the call ended, I was so confused and convinced that I had to do a shitload of work if I wanted to pass.

I mean, I do have to do a shitload of work, but during a mostly-sleepless night that consisted of obsessive thinking about my PhD, I came up with a specific idea that I think is workable. Their criticism was that whatever I proposed was too broad (what's new?) and they thought that I should focus on one or two writers; preferably one. So I think I can do that. And after figuring out this puzzle, I felt better and therefore equipped to embark on this trip.

Fuck this PhD. Oh my god. I don't know what I got myself into. But I think what's driving me more isn't the PhD for its own sake, but my desire to prove a point. I hate being made to feel like I can't do something, and I refuse to believe that's true. So this will be done, one way or another.

*

In better news, the weather finally allowed me to properly play tennis earlier this week (I think it was on Monday). My past few attempts had been thwarted by thunderstorms and torrential downpours. I was going to play on Wednesday morning, but I was woken up by the loud sound of thunder. On Friday morning, I woke up to a sunny day and happily drove myself to NUS where I met Kevin; and minutes after I stepped on court, I saw that half the sky was an ominous dark grey. Fifteen minutes later, it started raining really heavily. On Saturday, I took the MRT to Lorong Chuan, where Roy now lives, and the same shit happened: heavy rain after fifteen minutes. We played a bit in the rain, and when it stopped, on really wet courts - which wasn't great. I hate putting soaking wet tennis balls up my shorts because it's so disgusting. It's also not good for the arm to play with wet tennis balls.

So Monday morning's weather made me very pleased. I had a good work out. I love tennis.

*

I didn't get to watch Orange is the New Black last night due to the Skype call, so I shall watch it now.
Tags: family, melbourne, phd, playing tennis, singapore
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