The only sane part of all this so far is having Barry for company in the college library. Since I cannot be arsed walking 20 minutes to the faculty, I've been going to the college library which is 5 minutes away. It makes coming back for dinner a lot easier, and not having to spend more than 5 minutes getting to the library reduces my stress level a little. Mostly, though, I really need a friend around during this shit-infested period, and the faculty is empty, so obviously the college library is the obvious choice.
It's nice having him opposite me when I'm dying over whatever shit I am trying to write. Today he was gone for most of the day, popping back in only at 8pm. I pretty much felt super sian and bored and restless, and I had to force myself to write. The plan was to stay till 9-ish or 10, but I gave up at 8.45. I didn't accomplish what I wanted to, but whatever. I will do it tomorrow.
I still don't care about this PhD. I don't care if I don't pass. I don't care if I don't get a PhD. I don't even like Cambridge; being free of having to live in this place (don't get me started on the indignity of living in student housing at my old age) would actually be quite a relief.
My first interaction with a human being when I got off the National Express bus at Parker's Piece on Monday was with the taxi driver, who was a complete dick. I tried to pay for the fare with a 20-pound note. The fare was 6.20. He saw the 20-pound note and started bitching, 'Oh no, I can't do it.' He showed me some 20-pound notes, and continued bitching. 'Why do people pay for short distance fares with 20 pounds?'
Blah blah blah. I'd almost wanted to say that I drew money at the airport because I would've had a 50-pound note otherwise. He was so fucking unpleasant. He didn't even open the car door for me and help me with my suitcase when I got into the car. I told him that I may have some change in my room, and he was all, 'Be quick luv, I can't park here as I'm in the middle of the road.' So I wasn't sure if I should leave my things or take them, as taking them would slow me down, obviously. He was all, 'Take your things with you!' And then I asked if he was gonna park somewhere else, and he said, 'Just go and get the change. I don't have time to chit chat.'
I did have some coins lying around. I was gonna give him 6.50, but I decided that I wasn't going to give this dick any more money than he deserved, and so I gave him the exact amount.
I am too tired to even bitch properly. This entry is shit, just like """my PhD""".