Like right now. On the way home it was relatively sunny which made me decide to swim. The minute I got home, the wind grew stronger, the sun fucking disappeared, and it looks like it's going to rain. Of course I can still swim anyway, but oh my god, I hate swimming when it's cold, when the wind is making it even colder, when it's dark and gloomy. This used to be the kind of weather that I coveted - way back before, when I objectively needed to lose weight, when I had more body fats to insulate me from the cold.
I still have body fats, therefore the rant, but I am freakishly and exponentially more cold-averse than I was before. I could have survived Alishan in and zero degrees weather just fine a few years ago, but now, the mere mention of 'winter' freaks me out. The idea of swimming with the wind blowing ripples all across the surface of the pool makes me not want to swim.
Since we're on the subject of the cold, I really don't understand why law school has to make all its seminar rooms a freezer. I don't understand why I feel the need to bring a jacket to class every single time I attend a class in a seminar room. Along the same vein, I don't understand why I have to fork out an extra 50 bucks to print out the reading materials put online when I pay school fees for the school to do these things for me. Are we trying to save paper? I totally applaud the effort, but what about the wholly unnecessary consumption of energy by the air-conditioners? Save paper on the one hand, but care not at all about wasting electricity by turning the whole school into a freezer? If this is where my school fees are going, then I...I don't even know what to say.
It's not just law school, of course. It's virtually everywhere in Singapore. We're this huge paradox: Too hot outside, too cold inside. I swear one day I'm going to wear my winter Mango coat in one of the shopping malls here and I'd be fully justified. I was just at Video Ezy Rail Mall yesterday or the day before, and I was freezing to death. Are we truly serious about "fighting climate change"? For crying out loud, don't use these catchphrases if you haven't the slightest idea what it means, or the slightest genuine intention to commit to it. It's just like Bush saying the "international community" needs to fight terrorism or whatever. It sounds good on paper, but when it comes to the actual doing, no one knows who's supposed to do what, what's supposed to be done, how it's supposed to be done.
On another note, I'm damn sad that I can't watch Roger's match tonight. He's scheduled to play third again and will probably start between 12 to 1, like this morning, but I will be at Mambo. ARGH WHY WHY WHY. That is damn sad. Maybe if he starts at one, I'd be able to make it back in time to watch the last point?
DAMN BLOODY SAD. I hate missing a Roger match. And I think I will be forced to miss some Australian Open matches because of this irrelevant thing called 'school'. ARGH WHY WHY WHY. WHY.
On yet another note, I'm secretly amused by what MT said about wanting to teach in Singapore and wanting to understand Singapore's constitutionalism. We're apparently going to talk about it on Friday, which should be interesting. Everytime he uses the words 'Singapore' and 'constitutionalism' in the same breath, I have to fight off the urge to laugh. I feel like telling him exactly this: Don't Bother Wasting Your Time. It Is Not Worth It.
Because, truly? It is just what it is. There is no magic, no trick, no twist to be discovered. It is just what it is. Maybe he'd be surprised by the attitude of resignation that seems to be common amongst Singaporeans - but it is just what it is.
I can't wait for Friday's class.