I should have won more games, my serve was a joke, I didn't make a single backhand slice; but fuck it, fuck all that, fuck even the fact that I won even though that's awesome. What really made it special was literally one point that I won which also won me the match. She was serving at 3-5, I'd just got broken and failed to go up 6-2. I was already thinking in my mind, 'Oh my god, not again, I'm going to lose from a winning position again; if I don't break now, I'm going to lose. Shit, this is so annoying. I hate tennis.'
Those thoughts intensified when she got up 30-0. But somehow - I say 'somehow' because I don't remember how - the score was 30-40. It was 30-40, and I was desperate to capitalise on my break point opportunity and win the bloody match. We got into a long rally; she moved me left to right. I don't even know how I did it, but for once, I was getting to the ball and hitting it back. After 5 or 6 shots, she gave me a scrumptious short ball that dropped around the service line. My footwork, on fire, helped me get to the ball and set up properly for a forehand. My body coiled, I took back my racquet and crushed the shit out of the ball for a forehand winner.
I hardly ever feel satisfied enough when I win a point to fistpump and all that. But this point? This point was special. I finally understand what it feels like when pros (like Maria Sharapova, whom I love) yell 'come on!' at the top of their lungs. It's when you hit a shot so perfect, at such a crucial juncture, and there's all this adrenaline coursing through your veins that you need to release somehow. So my instinctive reaction was to clench my fist, say a very soft 'come on!'. The only times I ever say 'come on' are when I do something stupid and I go, 'Come on!' as in 'come on, what the fuck was that shit'.
After winning that service game of hers and winning the match, I proceeded to lose the next two games and the tiebreak. Haha.
I think I take this too seriously. But I want to win because I am competitive like that. And I also had too much aggression from the past few days that I needed to let out. So I was really focused today. She also helped by serving really badly and making more errors than me, but whatever; that forehand at 5-3, 30-40, was one of the best shots I'd ever hit in my life.
Later, I played Milhan (from the PhD) and beat him 6-4, 6-0. Haha.
I have more to say, but no time to write them, so maybe later tonight when I get back from a latte art competition.