anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

me = weakling.

In Company lecture right now. As usual, I'm not listening. My laptop is annoying me; the automatic updates thingy keeps springing up and asking me to restart my computer. Yeah, I'd restart it when I'm not actually in class with like 16% of my laptop battery remaining.</p>

I typed half an entry yesterday. After taking out my eyes, I decided I didn't feel like continuing with it anymore, because it made me sound petty and because I simply didn't see the point, period. It also contained way too much swearing - which goes to show how much swearing there was, considering I'm not averse to swearing and everything.

Suffice it to say, therefore, that I'm completely over yesterday's...I don't know, pissed off-ness, and that I have discovered that I'm truly the biggest moron to ever walk the face of the earth. I'm a glutton for punishment, I don't know how to walk away, and I don't know what to do about any of it, I'm not even good at pretending nothing is wrong. So what do I do? I freeze people out. Even though I really don't want to.

Well, I guess the upside to all of this is that the person I'm freezing out totally doesn't give a shit either way, so...wait, what's the upside again? Oh yeah: My idiocy is only affecting one person - Me.

Sigh. This really shouldn't matter, but it does. I hate being such a girl.

I so should have brought my laptop power cable. My battery is dying in about 10 minutes' time and I won't have anything to do during lecture after my battery dies. This is so devastating.

I don't feel like going for dinner with Siming and Agatha tonight but I haven't seen Siming since the first day of school this year and I miss him so what the hell. It's like, at 7.30 or thereabout, and I'm kind of too lazy to study from like, 2.15 - which is when the lecture ends - to 7.30. That's FIVE FREAKING HOURS, oh my god. Insanity.

I've been slacking off on all my readings for all my modules. I know, what's new, right? Well, truth be told, I made it a point to complete all my CLT readings before lectures during the first half of the semester. Now? I didn't do the common law readings, didn't do the Hindu law readings, and only did a third of the Chinese legal tradition readings. I feel like a total slacker. I'm so damn lazy that I should hate myself...

But I don't, not really. I just don't really know what I'm doing.

Khai and I should really hang out, like, now. It's never too late, not for me. I'm sorry, I should have been more understanding, tolerant, forgiving. My knee-jerk reaction is to blame everyone else but myself, and I'm beginning to see the inherent fallacies in that. I miss you Khai. I really do.

Right, my laptop is officially running on low battery. Time to post this then.

Tags: law school

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