Computer is back. At least, until the installation of Windows 98 fucks it up.
20th June, 2002
My mom took the day off and brought my brother and I to watch "Scooby-Doo" at the mall. Talk about a totally stupid and brainless show. It was so much worse than what I'd expected. I knew it was going to be stupid, but it was the same old rehashed garbage gags all over again, and the dumb fart scene was so not funny. I couldn't even sit still the one and a half hour, which felt a lot longer than it actually was, and I sat through the whole 3 hours of "The Fellowship of the Ring" without even flinching!
Gen is great. He is awesome. I want him, and I want him now.
No, honestly, he is. I'm trying to figure out if I love him or not, but perhaps I should simply let things develop first before ruining this great feeling I have towards my relationship with Gen. My Genie. Heh. I gross myself out too.
But seriously? I'm growing up so fast I can't stand to spend time with myself anymore. Everything is changing, and it's not just about me getting more sexually experienced. My recently acquired experiences are gonna change me, and I can't stop them even if I wanted to. And I don't know if I want to be shaped or not. What kind of person would a girl be if the woman she's about to become is shaped by her sexual experiences?
21st June, 2002
Today's football results: Brazil 2, England 1; Germany 1, USA 0. ENGLAND IS OUT! HELL YEAH! Tomorrow is Spain and I'm totally excited, because Spain is not only gonna totally TRASH South Korea, Casillas is gonna display his brilliant goal-keeping skills, but more importantly, I CAN SEE HIM! Yay! Ha, ha. I went with my parents to release the catfish into the nearby body of water. It grew and was eating up the other fish in the tank. It was dark there and slightly forboding, and a couple was hugging under the street lamp, and it got me thinking that it would be really nice to go there with Gen. I've been thinking of doing a lot of things with him actually, not exclusive of sex, and I tihnk it's quite amazing how my attitude towards us has changed.
Now that the tables are reversed, I hope I don't fall too deep if he's not going to reciprocate it. But Gen...he means so much. He enhances my life and gives me room to breathe in a world where tension and stress ranks sky-high. He takes my mind off my life and he makes me feel good, both sexually and otherwise. I LOVE being with him. I'd want to be with him even if all we do is sit and stare at each other. Being in his presence is so refreshing, and dammit, he totally blows my mind. He is soooo fine.