I finally played a mini league match today against Laura. I beat her the last time we played, quite narrowly, by hitting an amazing cross-court forehand winner on match point; still one of the most memorable shots I'd ever played.
Today, I was prepared for the match to be cancelled because the forecast said rain at 6pm. So I went to the gym in the morning, hit the treadmill for 30 minutes, did some cross-training for 8 minutes, and tired myself out. When 5.30pm rolled around and there was still no rain, just a lot of fucking disgusting wind, I realised that I would definitely have to play the match.
At 5.55pm, it started to drizzle.
At 6.05pm, it started to rain consistently. The wind continued to blow past me like a freight train.
In short, I'm not sure who was more miserable: the weather, or me.
Whereas I played a memorably amazing shot the last time I played Laura, today, I played one of the most memorably worst shots ever. I was down 30-40, her match point, managed to get a short ball to my backhand that, in theory, was an easy put away. But because my backhand had been cowering in fear the whole match every time a ball went there, I completely mistimed it, and instead of hitting it strong and hard cross-court for a winner, I went too close to the fucking ball, barely got my strings on it, and floated a feeble sitter to her at the net which she put away for an easy winner.
That was absolutely disgraceful. I'd just completely stopped caring after that (though it was really hard for me to have cared any less); the tiebreak was just a shitfest. I even served and volley on a couple of points because I was bored. I made the volley on the first attempt but eventually got passed because the volley wasn't good enough. The second time? I missed it completely.
Anyway. It was terrible. I don't want to play in the mini league anymore as I don't have the headspace for it, and I don't like losing, so I don't want to play anymore. I was just distracted today and didn't care and I started feeling hungry towards the end so I started thinking about what to eat...I literally played one good point the whole match. Everything else was shit. I lost quite a few points on her mishits that got over the net but apart from that, my backhand was shit, my serve was shit, my forehand was okay but I couldn't get into a rhythm and it was just shit, and the weather was utter shit, and I was miserable, and I was so happy when it finally ended.
I can hit my backhand decently well when I'm just hitting with someone. When it comes to a match, though, I completely freeze up. It is so annoying. Ugh, I hate how shitty I am at playing competitive tennis.
Blah whatever. I need to finish a chapter of Anthony D. Smith's National Identity (which is boring) before I move on to literature, so that's it.
(Won 13 of last 18 matches. On a 814713618736527834-match losing streak.)