anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

wake up and smell the roses

I failed my Literature test by two and a half marks. Was supposed to analyse an extract from George Eliot's "Middlemarch". My teacher said that I definitely have the potential to do better, because I made some insightful observations, and only failed because... well, apart from the fact that I left the entire essay hanging on one incomplete sentence ("This shows the extent of Mr. Casaubon's - "), that is. The only reason I failed was because I got the narrative perspective wrong.

Did I ever mention that I hate the Victorian era? Well, I do. I truly do. It gets on my nerves so much that I'm almost tempted to drop Literature.

Argh. Screw it. That was yesterday and I wasn't too disappointed, truth be told, because it was largely over-shadowed by the fact that I saw my cager first thing in the morning, at the canteen. Isn't it nice? I think it is. He was with his friends, all basketballers, so I didn't do anything then. If I'd known that I wasn't going to see him anymore for the rest of the day and for the whole of today, I think I would've done something.

In fact, I was so determined to get his number today that... yeah. The details are for myself to know only. But I didn't see him anyway so what the hell.

I'm going to get his number by the end of the week. The New Kid's mate is trying to get it for me (although she doesn't know that it's for me, 'cause The New Kid didn't tell her that I'm the girl who's interested) but yeah, I don't need the favour. More fun getting it myself.

And I can. And I will. I will charm him with my disarming smile and....

Fuck, I think I'm going to throw up.

I'm a bit crazy today. I have a Maths test tomorrow. I can't fail it. Especially not after last week, the week that my grades started going down the drain. I mean, I had three tests in a row on Friday and a fucked up Econs test on Thursday. And I'm going to fail all of them. In fact, I've already failed Literature.

Such an irony, you know. That was the first test I've failed so far... Literature. My first subject to fail. I think I can just laugh and die in the process.

So back to the Maths test. I can't fail. This is like basketball, the importance of scoring the first basket during crunch time. Or even just scoring the opening basket of the match. It's a morale booster, something that lets you know all's not lost, that there's still some hope left for you to turn the tide.

And I desperately have to turn the tide. I can't stand failing. Failing is unacceptable.

Geniuses like me shouldn't fail.

And I'm not just talking about tests results.

Tags: crushes, grades, junior college, shawn

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