Suffice it to say that it hasn't been the prettiest week. The bright side to all this is that the next time I'm in a similar situation, forced into a corner and wondering how I'm going to get out of it relatively unscathed, I will at least have a point of reference in which I survived.
I just can't do this for the rest of my life. There's just no way. I went for the SAL lecture last night given by the President of the International Court of Justice who spoke on the interaction between international law and the domestic legal order - or more specifically, the place that international has in the local legal hierarchy, and the various problems with implementing international law (using this phrase loosely as the phrase doesn't actually mean anything concrete) in the local context.
That's interesting. That's more than interesting. That forms part of what I want to do when I go for my Masters studies.
What is not interesting is what I do on a daily basis, and I still can't shut up about it. And it's getting increasingly difficult to keep the eye on the prize - because I'm not so sure what it is anymore.
Well, anyway, here's my complaining post.
I knew since last week that this week would be really bad for me because of the overlapping deadlines. Hence, I planned my schedule quite well in my head and it allowed me to finish everything by Thursday so that I wouldn't have to do anything on Friday.
On Saturday night, I glanced at my Blackberry and saw that my boss dropped a bomb on my lap.
On Monday, I scrambled to diffuse said bomb, and spent the whole fucking day - including 3 hours after 6 - doing it.
Basically, I received a file that I knew absolutely nothing about and was expected to advice client on the strength of his case and his cause(s) of action. Boss was also supposed to have called client before he went overseas but that didn't happen.
I was not a happy camper. Thank goodness my senior associate helped me out. Without him, I think I totally would have died. I'm sad that he's not free to work on the file full time because he's REALLY funny and I feel more relaxed when there's someone more senior on a file with me, so that not everything's on my shoulders. Because, frankly? I barely think I can handle it. I'm just feeling my way through the darkness.
I hate demanding clients that are also unreasonable and stupid. The worst possible scenario is for these said demanding, unreasonable and stupid clients to have an absolutely mind-numbing case premised on a commercial transaction which issues I don't give a shit about, AND to have the partner in charge of the file tell me that the clients have no case.
While whining to Junior Partner about my horrible week, I mentioned this to him and said, "Which makes me wonder what the point is."
He was all, Tactical move, litigation, make client happy. What I really meant, however, was - what the fuck is the fucking point of me doing this fucking bullshit when one, I don't give a fuck, and two, it's all fucking futile anyway; and in a larger sense, what is the fucking point of this fucking tedious litigation process anyway.
I didn't say any of that to Junior Partner, merely smiled and nodded, and moved on.
I was looking forward to the SAL lecture. Boyfriend was supposed to go with me, but they specified attire as "lounge suit" and boyfriend's suit is at the tailor and he didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd that he predicted to be all lawyers, so he didn't go in the end.
I was contemplating not to go because I was feeling sickly; but I was really interested in the topic and eventually decided to drag my ass there.
I wish I hadn't. I really wish I hadn't. The SAL people were anal as hell and I was SO pissed off last night. I left my house at 6.40, aiming to reach the Supreme Court at 7.20, just in time for the 7.30 event. Little did I know that traffic was slow as hell on the AYE, and when I got to the Merchant Road exit tunnel, it was fucking JAMMED. One wondered why a road leading to the CITY is congested at 7 in the evening, but one stopped wondering when one got to the traffic light and saw that green changed to red in ten fucking seconds. I'm not even exaggerating - it changed at the speed of fucking lightning. If the government is really interested in easing congestion, maybe they should send someone down to that ridiculous tunnel and do something about the fucking traffic light.
I was stuck there for at least 15 minutes. Right before I reached the stupid tunnel, I actually thought I'd be early and planned in my head what I'd do to pass the time. In the end, all thanks to the utterly useless traffic light, AND the nightmare fucking Adelphi car park that forced me to park at Basement 4, AND my inability to find my way out of Adelphi, I reached the Supreme Court at 7.31. I thought Olivia was still on her way, so I went to the toilet first then stood outside waiting for her. 5 minutes later I found out that she was already inside.
When I went down, the SAL people informed me that the doors were closed and that the doors were to remain closed until the end of the lecture - which meant I was stuck outside. When the SAL woman informed me that there was a live feed of the lecture outside, she said it with such pride, as if I was to thank her for their thoughtfulness.
I literally went, "Wah lau, this fucking sucks."
Quote unquote. May I repeat that I was REALLY pissed off? I dragged myself there despite being sick and my reward was to be locked out with a live video feed? And here was this woman, expecting me to be grateful for the live feed? I don't think so.
She went, "But we have a live feed!"
I retorted, "That's rather pointless right?"
Eventually I sat down angrily and angrily BBMed Olivia. I was half-mad at her for not telling me that she was already inside, but I was really damn pissed at the fucking traffic and the fucking anal retentive nature of the whole event. Yes, it was my fault for being late (though I would put an asterik here and say that I did not anticipate the stupid traffic jam), but I wasn't inclined to reasonableness because I was sick and I was stuck outside and all I could think of was how I could've been home sleeping instead of being stuck outside, boiling with rage at the SAL people, the whole event, my friend who didn't do anything wrong, the goddamn traffic, my uncomfortable work dress, the fact that I wasn't at home sleeping.
My bad mood also affected my concentration and so I didn't really follow the whole lecture. I wanted to leave 15 minutes in because the ICJ President wasn't saying anything I didn't already know, but I thought I'd stay and see if he said anything new towards the end. But he mumbled a lot and I couldn't catch a lot of what he said, so it was quite a waste of time.
But things got horrifying when the lecture ended and the doors opened and the participants came trickling out. I wore a beige work dress and when the doors opened, I was swept away by a sea of black and I started drowning in it. I didn't know the women took the dress code literally - 99% of the people were in black suits. Kind of like a funeral, and it would have been one if we weren't at the Supreme Court. They were just lawyers.
Boyfriend was right. Only lawyers attended the event. Why did I think otherwise? Just because the event was opened to the public? Boyfriend also said no one would know about it unless they had someone on the inside. Why did I not believe him?
I should have only myself to blame for my naivete. He would've felt like an odd one out last night. I just don't think this bloody circle should be so exclusive. I still don't want to be a part of it. It repulses me, if truth be told. I literally can't stand it.
On the bright side, I talked to the law school dean. That made me happy.
In US Open news, Roger's through to the semi-final without dropping a set.
The bad news is, Nadal's similarly through to the semi-final without dropping a set. And guess who he faces in the semi-final? Mikhail Youzhny. He's seeded #12, while Roger's opponent, Nole, is seeded #3.
FUCK WHAT IS THIS SHIT. NADAL HAS HAD THE EASIEST DRAW EVER. Okay, it's not his fault that Berdych lost in the first round and it's also not his fault that Murray lost in the fourth round, BUT WHAT A FUCKING JOKE THAT HE PLAYED TWO SPANIARDS IN A ROW LEADING TO THE SEMI-FINAL. He hasn't had to face any good hard-court players so far, and while Youzhny is a solid player, he's not going to win. I'd be happy if he took a set off Nadal.
I think all roads are leading to a nightmare Federer/Nadal final. If that really happens, I'm going to set a precedent by NOT watching a Grand Slam final in which Roger plays. I literally cannot handle the stress.
OMG NADAL CANNOT WIN THE US OPEN. IT'S ROGER'S SLAM. IT WOULD BE WAY WORSE THAN ROGER LOSING TO JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO LAST YEAR.
I'm so scared. Why do I care so much?
I LOVE YOU ROGER.
The winds were really strong in New York when Roger played his quarter-final against Robin Soderling. It did not make for a pretty match. I thought his fourth-round match against Jurgen Melzer was way better. But Roger handled the wind way better than Soderling - Roger served 18 aces (or was it 20?) to Soderling's 2, and cleverely utilised the drop shot when the wind was blowing behind him so that it could push the ball over the net. Roger displayed his all-court skills in this match, coming up with a variety of spin and touch that put the modern power baseline game to shame.
See, this is why I keep saying that Roger Federer is tennis. This sport is about so much more than bludgeoning the ball to death across the net, and he serves to remind us of that every time he takes the court.