anotherlongshot (anotherlongshot) wrote,

for all the best friends

Still upset about the bad mark. In fact, I'm in school as we speak and it's recess. I never skip recess, but I haven't the feeling/heart to do anything but listen to myself talk. I am sick of that. I don't know how many people live inside my head, but I wish they'd all just fuck off so that I could be left in peace.

And you know what is the most disheartening thing? No one has said a word to me. I'm surrounded by 28 people here, and no one has said anything to me. Am I supposed to do the ice-breaking myself? Um, I'm sorry, but it's just not what I do. I'm just feeling so fucked up right now. I've written two more depressing poems, and I don't like them. I just want to go home and sleep til I die, okay? It's not suicide, as suicide means killing yourself, and sleeping til you die isn't killing yourself. It's a natural death. Suicide's an unnatural one, scientifically speaking.

Quite obvious that I haven't got a point whatsoever. People are so self-absorbed and awkward and full of themselves. Why do we even exist? We're the catatrosphe of the world, let's face it. It's better off for Earth if we all died right now, every single one of us. We contribute largely to pollution, and we don't even give a flying fuck when one of us is depressed or whatever. And the worst thing is! You still claim you do. Talk about a load of cod! I haven't seen such hypocrisy that doesn't come from myself. It's so full of shit, you're so full of shit, and I really hate you. Every single one of you. The next time you even consider telling me that you care, think about where you've been when it's obvious I needed someone. Think about that, and if you still think it's "all right" to feed me with such blatant lies, please do the world a favour and kill yourself. The world doesn't need you. I don't need you. I don't need anyone but myself.

Tags: angst, friends, personal, school

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