Hence, when I answered, I expected to hear either of those three voices. Instead, a deep, male voice greeted me with, "Hi, may I speak to [Yelen] please?"
The following conversation ensued:
Me: Yes, speaking?
Male: Hi! I just got back from Australia -
Me: Um, sorry, who is this?
Male: Oh it's Janson/Jensen/Jenson/[whatever]! Um, it's been a while...
Me: [totally had no fucking clue who this guy was] Oh...
Male: I'm back in town and I'm invited to go for this F1 launch party tonight. I was wondering if you're free tonight to go with me?
Me: [still totally had no fucking clue who this guy was] Oh, um...[totally not knowing what the fuck to say, trying to think of a way to ask him who he was without asking him who he was, just in case he was a friend] where did you just come back from?
Me: [still totally had no fucking clue...you know the rest] Oh, um... [stalling for time as I tried some more to think of how to ask him how I knew him, apparently] what's this F1 launch thing?
Male: [rattles some stuff off about what it was which I can't remember and don't care about] I thought you'd be the perfect candidate to go.
Me: [thinking, what the fuck is this guy talking about] Huh. Um, I can't make it tonight. I'm going out with my boyfriend.
Guy: You're going where with your mom?
Me: No, I said I'm going out with my boyfriend.
Guy: [sounding way less confident now] Oh, that um...so are you still studying now?
Me: Yeah, I'm taking the bar.
Guy: Yeah that has to be done...[one second awkward pause from him] Well, okay then.
I was gonna say something along the lines of, "I'll catch you around", just in case I knew this guy but somehow momentarily forgot. But I honestly had no idea who he was, absolutely no recollection of ever meeting some guy named Jensen or however the hell it's spelled. It bugged me all the way from the Raffles City car park where I received the call, to Din Tai Fung where we were having lunch. I even went to the toilet in between. I texted Wei Chuen about it, and when I got back to the restaurant from the toilet and sat down, still trying to figure out who he was, I suddenly placed a face to the voice.
And in so doing, I had a clear visual of where I met the person.
HE IS META-PHYSICS GUY. OH EM EFF GEE.
What. The. Fuck. After that incident he called me once to try to ask me out, but I gave him the slip by telling him I was preparing for an exam and didn't have time to talk on the phone; could he call me back later?
He never called back. I completely forgot about his existence, clearly. And this guy is either completely deluded, or has an over-inflated ego; clearly he expected me to remember who he was two years later. He said he was Janson (janitor), it's been a while, then asked me if I wanted to go out with him. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? WHO DOES THIS KIND OF SHIT? Even if I weren't happily in love with Wei Chuen (who I only have eyes for) I'd still be like, "Um what kind of crack is this idiot on?"
Desperate much? Desperate much? Desperation in a guy is SUCH a turn-off, I can't even begin to say. I can't believe there actually exists a person who'd call up a girl he randomly picked up (eeeeeeewwwwwwwww fuck) in Clarke Quay, whom he hasn't seen or talked to since that night, TWO YEARS AFTER THE FACT, and genuinely think he has a chance in hell in getting her to go out with him. Where do these people COME from? It's like they're stuck in their bubble of Delusion and Weirdness and can't see past it into the real world where people like that are scorned, ridiculed and spat on by the said girl and her boyfriend.
I mean, great for me that I apparently am charming enough for something like this to happen, but oh shit. Wei Chuen said he finds guys like that slimy - and I totally agree. I don't find any sincerity in guys who come up and talk to me on the streets, or worse, in a bar/club. The first thing I think of is, "This guy just wants to sleep with me." Even before anything is said, I automatically assume he just wants to get into my pants. And guys who compliment my looks ad fucking nauseum also completely rub me the wrong way, and they also lead to the automatic assumption that all they want from me is sex. That, or they want some trophy arm accessory to wear like some Guess handbag (except I don't think I'm merely Guess, bwahaha), just to show off, and they'd never really get to me for who I am. They wouldn't be interested to get to know me - really know me - because their minds would've already been made up the moment they saw me and made the decision to talk to me. You wouldn't give a shit if the pretty girl you had your eye on wasn't what you want, because the first thing you noticed was her looks, and therefore that attraction - completely baseless at that - would override any intervening factors that objectively should tell you that you and her aren't the right fit.
I know this because I've been there and done fucking that. First boyfriend - liked him because of his looks. Once that was exactly what he said to me - "You only like me because of my looks, huh?" Of course back then I was all, "Oh no that's not true at all!" But now, having grown older and wiser, it's clear as DAY to me that he was completely spot-on. I was completely besotted with him because I thought he was drop-dead gorgeous, and because my mind had been made up the second I saw him, which meant I didn't know him at all, I didn't give a shit that we had nothing in common; we couldn't even communicate because of the language barrier; and there was just nothing between me and him beyond the physical attraction.
And that was actually my longest relationship to date. It went on for 10 months. Of course I hardly saw him and hardly cared, really; but it still officially went on for 10 months.
My point is, I don't trust guys who think they're interested in me just because they find me attractive. I mean, I would NEVER date a guy who doesn't think I'm pretty because my ego can't take that kind of insult, but I also wouldn't go out with a guy who only wants to go out with me because of the way I look. I don't even care that his intentions could be innocuous, that he genuinely wants to get to know me better; because the way I see it, the good guys don't pick a girl off the streets. Only the depserate ones who are looking for a thing, not a person, do that. And I'm just not gonna be anyone's fucking thing, okay? I'm a person; I'm not a solution to your pathetic single desperation. Pushing 30 and still can't find a girlfriend? Okay, let's go pluck a girl from the streets!
Fuck that crap. I can't stand people who are so desperate to find a partner that they just settle for ANYTHING, even if it isn't good, let alone the best possible thing they can get. Guys like this Jenson person seem to be exactly that, for what other reason could he have had for calling me TWO YEARS LATER? That was just plain freaking weird.
In light of such events, though, I'm even more thankful for Wei Chuen. In the first place it's not like I don't already spend a lot of time thinking about him and how much I love him and how lucky I am to have him; so if I'm even more thankful for him, it means I'm more or less infinitely thankful for him.
It's so hard to find something that's genuine - to find someone that's completely genuine in his feelings for you. I don't worry that he's with me only because of superficial reasons, and I don't worry that he's going to use me, then dump me. A huge reason I was attracted to him before we got together was how he was absolutely not smarmy at all. Not even the slightest bit. He didn't crack inappropriate and not-funny sexual jokes, didn't jokingly hit on me and then turn around to say, "But I'm just being friendly!", didn't do anything that suggested he was behaving in a manner that was unbefitting of a friend towards his female friend. Didn't get physically close to me either, and made it a point to avoid physical contact with me.
I respected all of that, especially the complete absence of smarm. Of course, the fact that we've known each other since JC definitely helped, but regardless, he was funny, entertaining, and harmless (this is a word he uses to describe himself a lot). I felt like I could trust him. A while later I felt like I could feel safe with him.
And I do - trust him and feel safe with him. I don't worry about anything except for one thing: I worry - and quite constantly - that we'd fall out of love with each other. That we wouldn't end up together in the end. That things would turn sour - irrevocably. Because he means so much to me that even when he jokes about a future in which we are not together (see, I can't even say it in those two simple words), I get affected.
At Terminal 2 tonight we envisioned for a while the possibility of getting married. He said that I'd have to do the church wedding thing, to which I said, "Can we have another wedding?" He started talking about the 250 idiots who got married in the fucking Botanic Gardens on that whatever auspicious day (my Family Law tutor said a lot of the people who got married on 8 August 2008 - Roger's 27th birthday, by the way - have engaged his services, i.e. have got divorced) and went on, as usual, about how hot it was to be in a suit, in the outdoors, with no shade, in the afternoon.
To that I said, "Let's have a wedding in a park. That is not in Singapore." I thought for a bit, then said, quite excitedly, "Let's get married in Hyde Park! In the summer! The sky is amazingly blue and the clouds are white and fluffy!"
Hyde Park in summer is absolutely stunning. I haven't seen it in London's usual weather; I was lucky to be there on a rare sunny day. It was absolutely beautiful. Vast expanses of green, the sun shining down on you, and you don't feel wet or sticky at all because it's not as humid there. You walk along a gravel path alongside a rich chlorophyll green, and overhead the sky is a brilliant cerulean blue. People lie on the grass just like that, with a book, with food, with a romantic partner, and in those few moments nothing in the world is capable of bothering you. You're free as a bird, relaxed, living.
There is nothing quite like it. At least, not that I've seen since then. Not even the Tuileres Gardens in Paris can hope to compare - possibly not even the gardens in Versailles. The Botanic Garden is pretty, no doubt; but whatever charm it has is immediately sucked away by the horrible weather that unfortunately plagues this country.
In London, though, as long as it doesn't rain, and when the sun is out like that, it's really absolutely beautiful. When talking about getting married in Hyde Park, in those perfect conditions, I was so into the idea that I could almost see it happening in my mind's eye. And I can tell you for sure that I'm definitely not the kind of girl that spends her days dreaming up her wedding. In the first place, the last I checked, I didn't want to get married.
Wei Chuen said, "You'll inherit my great surname."
I said, "But I like mine! Can I keep my surname?"
He said, "Of course not. I'm an MCP."
HAHAHA. He said my name with his surname - Tong [my name]. Then he said it in Mandarin, and I was all, "OMG YOUR SURNAME RHYMES WITH MINE! Okay can."
I love him so incredibly much I can't even describe it.
Okay done gushing!
Played tennis with Thx U yesterday morning and I'm only putting it mildly when I said it was UTTERLY HORRENDOUS.
The most incredible thing I did yesterday - or rather, failed to do - was to completely miss on the backhand when I attempted to hit a winner off this fucking short ball that barely made it over the net. A highly defensive shot by Thx U, just putting the ball back in play - had all the time in the world to get to it, to prepare for it, and when I swung at the ball, I missed.
Oh my bloody...even now I can't fathom how the hell THAT happened. It's also a good thing I'm not a pro player, 'cause I'd be one of those people that can't get a bad play out of their heads and I'd just keep thinking about it for the rest of the match, which means I'd go on to lose. Because the whole time after that all I could think of was, "Shit how did I miss that. Shit how did I miss that. SHIT HOW DID I MISS THAT."
HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THAT.
Made an unintentional backhand down the line that was quite cool, then an intentional forehand cross-court winner. Yeah that was about the only non-mortifying things that happened. Everything else was atrocious. A.TRO.CIOUS.
Roger's next tournament is the Japan Open. YAY. I doubt we'd get it on TV though; it's only a 500 series tournament.
Sigh. I miss seeing him already. Was the US Open final only a week ago?
OMG this is so cute!
Totally laughing at the song halfway through the video! I love hearing him speak French even though I have no clue what he's talking about. It sounds dreamy.
Yay happy Roger. :)