Anyhow. Today I went to the library to complete my community service (it's required for school). What do I do there, I hear you ask. I shelf books. A lot of it. So much that there are times when I don't want to see another book again in my life, and I love books. It's my second time, and the first time was just so bad, I haven't the words to describe it. It really worn me out. Today was okay. They stuck me with this Malay chick, who seems all right, but I didn't talk to her. It was at 10 in the morning and I haven't got much sleep the night before, 'cause I stayed awake thinking about this particular scene in "The Others" that made me scream. (By the way, great movie. Very, very chilling. *shudders*) That's my problem. The more something scares me, and the more I know it, the more I want to see it. How dumb.
I went to see "Lord of the Rings" for the second time after that. I love this movie! I love Legolas Greenleaf and Aragorn! I want to become a Hobbit so that I can marry Frodo! *sigh* I want to see it again, but that's out of the question.
I'm starting school in about a week. I haven't touched any of my holiday homework. Next year's a major year for me. Major exams and all that that determines my goddamned future. The more I think about it, the more I want to tear my hair out. Next year, I'm 16. Exciting thought, but it depresses me when I realise that I'm going to have even less of a life than I do now. But, what the fuck kind of person worries about her future at age 16? I mean, I don't know, it's really fucked up. But, y'know, I have to get my arse together. I have to ace the O Levels. I have to get into a good junior college and get many A's, and get a scholarship so that I can go to a foreign college, 'cause you can't pay me a million bucks to attend the Singaporean one. No sir, you can't.
What a great motivation, no? If only I could be driven by it.